lol, i've got more issues then the Sunday New York Times.
i shattered my pinky / ring finger support bones (in my palm, not the actual fingers) last friday night / saturday morning. Me and a friend were sparring around after the Keg floated. I tripped while swinging (i'm left handed) and went fist-first into a concrete pillar inside the wall.
Long story short... if that punch had hit a human face it would have instantly killed them by smashing their frontal lobe. That's pretty fucked up imho, see, i'm a pacifiist (although not fervently, I WILL protect myself / others). I dunno lol. I also keep having allergy attacks, and not like sninffling and shit I mean full blown itching all over, skin crawling away style shit. shrug, maybe it's all in my head. I've been lonely too, that doesn't help much. Ever since my girlf decided she wanted to be with someone else I just haven't felt like giving a shit about shit. I never thought i'd feel this fucking sad, but I do. I guess I wanted to spend my life with her. Well, I fucked up and that shit's in the past so I might as well learn from it.
The Doc gave me these ultra-high-powered antihistamines that are used as a pre-anaesthetic to calm patients down in order to chill out my allergic reaction(s). WOW.
man, this angsty shit is pissing me off, I hate feeling this way. I really wish my emotions would stabilize enough for me to know wtf I want when I want it. The thing that bugs me the most is the fact that I hurt her without even realizing it. True, she broke my heart, but I still fucking love her. I didn't realize she wanted something more until it was too late.
I'm done with this shit. It's been more then a month. Time to fucking move on.
I need a girlfriend bad, i'm done with this fuck buddy bullshit. I always end up getting hurt or hurting someone and usually both. My moral conscience can't take that kinda shit any more. It's not right. Maybe some people are fine with it, but i'm not, no matter how much I want to be.
peace, i'm out.
i shattered my pinky / ring finger support bones (in my palm, not the actual fingers) last friday night / saturday morning. Me and a friend were sparring around after the Keg floated. I tripped while swinging (i'm left handed) and went fist-first into a concrete pillar inside the wall.
Long story short... if that punch had hit a human face it would have instantly killed them by smashing their frontal lobe. That's pretty fucked up imho, see, i'm a pacifiist (although not fervently, I WILL protect myself / others). I dunno lol. I also keep having allergy attacks, and not like sninffling and shit I mean full blown itching all over, skin crawling away style shit. shrug, maybe it's all in my head. I've been lonely too, that doesn't help much. Ever since my girlf decided she wanted to be with someone else I just haven't felt like giving a shit about shit. I never thought i'd feel this fucking sad, but I do. I guess I wanted to spend my life with her. Well, I fucked up and that shit's in the past so I might as well learn from it.
The Doc gave me these ultra-high-powered antihistamines that are used as a pre-anaesthetic to calm patients down in order to chill out my allergic reaction(s). WOW.
man, this angsty shit is pissing me off, I hate feeling this way. I really wish my emotions would stabilize enough for me to know wtf I want when I want it. The thing that bugs me the most is the fact that I hurt her without even realizing it. True, she broke my heart, but I still fucking love her. I didn't realize she wanted something more until it was too late.
I'm done with this shit. It's been more then a month. Time to fucking move on.
I need a girlfriend bad, i'm done with this fuck buddy bullshit. I always end up getting hurt or hurting someone and usually both. My moral conscience can't take that kinda shit any more. It's not right. Maybe some people are fine with it, but i'm not, no matter how much I want to be.
peace, i'm out.