So, I got off work from one of my jobs tonight super late, so I was out smoking a cigarette just a second ago and it's 4:30 am. The weirdest shit. Im on the fire escape and the sky lights up in the north. Then an explosion sound...then another flash of light. It's overcast like usual so I couldnt tell what it was. Now, we...
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Today, my agenda is laundry and something active. Hopefully something different as well. 
skzoid:
Hey, I'm working on the Pet ID booth and I need someone to help who can can handle a hammer and the BBQ at the same time. I thought of you. I'm getting the tent trailer out of it so as to make more retail space. Justin is supposed to be helping but he is unbelievably flaky. I hope all is well in Portland. We're having really nice weather right now.
So, I did this freewriting thing on myspace that has made me want to do it here. It's basicly random thoughts, completely ignoring the fact that someone is going to read it. The thing is, I whine too much here, without giving details and totallly holding back. I think my journals will serve me better if I were totally honest and never held back like...
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Tough start for a week. Im now in diversion, which is classes=info class/group therapy that is madatory for my dui. It's costing me allmost as much as I make. So, needless to say, rent/food/etc. are taking a beating and not making ends meet. I feel like this is the hardest year of my life. The last few years has beaten me up and changed me...
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faye:
I don't even know what to tell you honey.
In so many ways I'm in the same situation.
I litereally make myself sick over it too, I as in emergency all day yesturday because the night before I had a four and a half hour long panic attack...or at least that's what they think.
Boo to that shit!
Hang in there.
In so many ways I'm in the same situation.
I litereally make myself sick over it too, I as in emergency all day yesturday because the night before I had a four and a half hour long panic attack...or at least that's what they think.
Boo to that shit!
Hang in there.
newmiguel:
when are you coming up?
So, today is very nice out. It's funny how weather effects your mood. In my case I think it's the amount of light and pretty scenery. There was plenty of sun in Vegas, yet I hated living there because everything looked ugly, and people acted ugly. The northwest is the opposite of that. It has alot of culture and a good balance of city and...
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blyss:
what he said 
welcome2thedawn:
hi boyfriend....too bad you feel like crap....a bike ride would be nice.......i looooooooooooooooove you!!! smooches and stuff...xoxo
Daydreaming of what I would do if I could go back and do it over again. A clean slate, youth, a wide-open future. Would I want to go back to 23?...18?...16? Im half way between being young and being an old man. I see the truth in the saying "Youth is wasted on the young. and... If I knew then what I know now" yet...
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dilative:
beautiful. ...i know what you mean...it's something i think of constantly, but what gets me is that instead of just thinking, i'm not putting it into action. irony/stupidity on my part.
-vanessa.
-vanessa.
dirrrty:
It's hard not to look back or regret the things we did wrong. As much as they sting, as awful as the are, as scared as they make us, as bad as they smell there is nothing we can do to change them... with that said, why look back?
I'm a fairly optimistic person. Maybe it's the naivity of being 20 (just turned 20) or maybe because I've experienced much more in my life than most 30 year olds. To me, regrets are worthless, and all we have is hope.
All life is is hope.
As soon as we are born all we have to really look forward to is dying, so why not make everything in the middle last and not say, "I wish I coulda.." All we have to look forward to is the future, to cling onto it for dear life and just hope, hope, that we do things better the second, third, forth time around.
I'm rambling.. haha. Sorry. Faye suggested on her jounral that we check you out. You are hot, and very insightful. Take good care..
[Edited on Apr 22, 2005 12:37PM]
I'm a fairly optimistic person. Maybe it's the naivity of being 20 (just turned 20) or maybe because I've experienced much more in my life than most 30 year olds. To me, regrets are worthless, and all we have is hope.
All life is is hope.
As soon as we are born all we have to really look forward to is dying, so why not make everything in the middle last and not say, "I wish I coulda.." All we have to look forward to is the future, to cling onto it for dear life and just hope, hope, that we do things better the second, third, forth time around.
I'm rambling.. haha. Sorry. Faye suggested on her jounral that we check you out. You are hot, and very insightful. Take good care..
[Edited on Apr 22, 2005 12:37PM]
Grumpasourisrex is my official name lately. I want to have some fun or do something that makes me feel good. Everyone seems to be doing other stuff. When I work everyone wants to go out and have fun, when I have time off everyone wants to either stay home, sleep, or do something else without me. Basicly, it gives me the message that Im not...
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jcup:
i miss you too...
mnislahi:
Doing stuff alone is cool sometimes.
Todays thoughts:
I dont want fate to decide my life for me. I want control and the opportunity to do more with my life. I keep running into walls and I want to be able to go over or around the obsticles.
I need sleep, space, time, and progress. All of those are out of my hands to control right now, but I need to...
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I dont want fate to decide my life for me. I want control and the opportunity to do more with my life. I keep running into walls and I want to be able to go over or around the obsticles.
I need sleep, space, time, and progress. All of those are out of my hands to control right now, but I need to...
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dark_templar:
hey if it makes u feel any better i had a 5150 lady who was 60+ yrs old tell me she wanted to marry me fuck me suck my dick and then drink cabernet and eat avacdos with me on first street in downtown san jo...... i had to wait with her for an hour cause the police didnt want to come so when i left to talk to my partner she got mad and started throwing newspaper vending machines like they were toys ( she was big), then she kept trying to touch me and she smoked all my cigs..... then the police come after an hour talk tyo her for like 5 min and leave................................ lazy fuckers.........
buy then i was gone
buy then i was gone
raedyn:
i'm always an interesting read....always
I've been in a strange mood lately. Everything has felt strange. Even the weather has been strange. It will rain super hard for an hour, be sunny, and repeat. The last few days I've been so unmotivated and slackin like crazy. Yet, mentally I've been very active. And I've been very moody in a sort of way. I feel like my head is going back...
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welcome2thedawn:
holy shit sweetie...we really do need a vacation................
So I havent had any head/eye pain since saturday. Im stoked. Tommorrow I get my bike. Once again...stoked. My neighbor moved out and gave us a bunch wood tables and furniture n stuff. Dawn and I want to sand it down, stain the wood with colored stains and put matching chrome handles on all the droors. That would be a kinda fun project. It's gonna...
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jcup:
dawn loves jacob.... 
missd:
weeeelll, ya know being touched by strangers can also be so very electric...just no unwanted touch by creepy strangers 
Worked the gaybar thursday night. Sooooo fuckin easy. Kicking out people or cutting off people is practicly nothing. They dont fight, spit, kick, yell, or try to argue with you. They just get embarrassed and leave. Instead of guys bumping into me and trying to puff up and challenge me, they get out of the way, smile, and tell me that Im hot. Fucking hilarious....
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k_kat:
It's nice when people make your job easier just by acting better.
You should get that checked out if it's been constant and there hasn't been any change. It could be something major or time dependent. Hope it's nothing bad or serious. Go to the Dr.!
You should get that checked out if it's been constant and there hasn't been any change. It could be something major or time dependent. Hope it's nothing bad or serious. Go to the Dr.!
missd:
hey handsome! yay, you stopped by, good to see you again. yup I imagine working in a gay bar is both a breathe of fresh air and a constant reminder that we need to get our asses back in the gym! ....oh god...me especially! I am sucha a lazy fatass recently! ugh
As for your head pain...PLEASE get it checked out, my experiences with similar situations thru both my sister and Grandfather have not been good...so PLEASE...get it checked. It is probably nothing dangerous, perhaps migraines (the impaired eyesight and fact that sleep is the only relief sounds exactly so) or maybe light cluster headaches but it's better to be safe right!? do it sweet boy, if only to put your girls mind at rest!...I'm tipsy...*hic*
yay, you stopped by, good to see you again. yup I imagine working in a gay bar is both a breathe of fresh air and a constant reminder that we need to get our asses back in the gym! ....oh god...me especially! I am sucha a lazy fatass recently! ugh
As for your head pain...PLEASE get it checked out, my experiences with similar situations thru both my sister and Grandfather have not been good...so PLEASE...get it checked. It is probably nothing dangerous, perhaps migraines (the impaired eyesight and fact that sleep is the only relief sounds exactly so) or maybe light cluster headaches but it's better to be safe right!? do it sweet boy, if only to put your girls mind at rest!...I'm tipsy...*hic*
So, I got my job at the gay bar. It's one night a week but pays twice what my other job pays, with opportunity to be barback soon and make alot more with better hours. The reason for applying at another bar...especially a gay bar, is I got bit by a psycho girl that stripped down to absolutely nothing and started fighting. She was fucking...
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blyss:
Aw! You are so cute!! I wish you could be my artist for a day too
Candy - Woohoo!
Candy - Woohoo!
mnislahi:
Oh thats pretty cool! congrats on the new job!!
And yeah...that guy fucking sucks ASS but I'm not worried about it anymore. Whatever right...I just hurt me because I'm not that kind of girl like at all. Everyone I've been with before that I've had really strong bonds with and just whatever, you know the story. It was my bad judgement, I rushed into it because we have known each other for a couple years and I thought he was the sweetest guy in the world....but in the end I guess almost every guy is just lookin for a piece of ass sometimes.