Every time I have a therapy session with Alyssa, I’ll send her a text before she arrives explaining how to find me in Panera.
Here is the text she received earlier this evening:
“When you walk into the lobby, there will be a row of sacrificial daggers on a table to your right. Make sure you take the one with the curved gold blade and the silver hilt.
Make your way into the main area of Panera where there will be a stone altar with a person on it. Approach with the dagger. The identity of this person on the altar does not matter, as it's just Elizabeth’s stupid emotionally abusive boyfriend.
Raise the dagger above your head and say the following phrase at least ten times, but no more than twenty and a half: Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!
Once you're finished, look down into that douchebag's eyes and say: "Jaclyn sends her regards." Let the words hang in the air until the realization that I did it comes across his face.
Then sacrifice that bitch to the Great Old One Cthulhu.
I'm sitting in the booth to the left.”
:D
- Jaclyn
