I figured I’d share some of my work here just in case anyone wants to see what I do with my life outside of wanting Patrick to fuck me up against a wall.
This is a collection of dialogue excerpts from my earliest work shortly after my ex friend (Lavender Dreams) helped me help myself get through my writer’s block and reignite my “creative spark.” For fun, I wrote it in the format of a movie trailer.
If you guys want to see more excerpts or little teasers from my work, just let me know and I’ll see what I can do. ❤️
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“I don't know where to begin... I never do with you. I just go with your flow, trapped in your current until you deposit me on the river's edge.”
“Just start speaking whatever is on your mind, whatever is in your heart.”
“I had a dream I didn't want to wake up from.”
“What happened in it?”
“You came back...”
“From where?”
“...your trip. Out west.”
“What did I do?”
“You were so excited to see me that you tackled me to the floor.”
“Haha! Sounds like something I’d do.”
“You wouldn't let me go. We just stayed like that.”
“What happened after?”
***
“He’s ours, poet!”
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“Tell me...how far are you willing to go to see her again? What would you be willing to do? Where would you be willing to go?”
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Paranoia
Anxiety
Numb
Suffocation
Sadness
Loneliness
Despair
Hopelessness
Self-destruction
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“Through hell and back.”
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“I bestow upon you my compassion...”
“...my grace...”
“...my wisdom...”
“...my strength, my courage, my will...”
“...my life. May it be your armor, your protection, your sword and your shield on your journey through the darkness.”
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“You sent her away to get her away from you!”
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“Your self-destruction is your greatest enemy. It will follow you unto the ends of the earth if you allow it.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“What we all have to do in the end. Accept it, or be consumed by it.”
***
“Being poetic is a good thing. You should not hate that someone or something brings that part of you out. If it were hate or anger that was triggered, then that would be different. But this is something beautiful. Don't hate it. Love it. Thrive. Keep her tied to your heart.”
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“She came into my life and turned it upside down, inside out, and everything in between. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all.”
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“These memories aren’t for you!”
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“I grow tired of this, traveler.”
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“How about a kiss!?”
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“I see her...I see her smile, I see her determined walk... I feel her sadness, how broken she is on the inside. And I see you. I see the frustration on your face, I feel the envy radiating from your body. And then your eyes meet. Your eyes meet, and in that moment, the world ceased to exist.”
***
“I listened to every word. I hung onto the sound of her voice. There was nothing fake. Everything she said was from the heart, and it woke up a fire inside of me.”
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“You two were great for each other... Hold onto these memories and they'll hold onto you. Just don't let her death destroy your life.”
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“This is sick.”
“Call it what you want, boy, but make no mistake...there is money to be made off of happiness!”
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“I promise I wasn't trying to kill myself! I'm just so sad, so very very sad! I needed to feel happy for once! I didn't mean for this!”
“Shh... It's okay.”
“It's not okay! I don't even know why you tolerate me. Somedays I wish I had never been born. I always ruin everything!”
“You don't ruin, you inspire. Whose life have you ruined?”
“Everyone I come into contact with.”
“Have you ruined my life?”
“I will. It's in my nature. People should just stay away from me.”
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“I’m not worth it. I’ll never be worth it.”
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“Will anyone mourn my death when I pass? Will the words of my loved ones finally reach me as I fade into nothing? Will that be the time I feel true happiness...when I travel from this world to the next?”
“It hurts when you speak like this.”
“I know. It's just... Just once I want you to believe in everything. That anything can and will happen regardless of facts or belief.”
“Okay...”
“If my spirit left this world... Would you chase me across the universe to see me again?”
“Yes.”
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“What am I looking at?”
“What we all eventually give into when there's nothing left... Hopelessness.”
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“I just want my family back!”
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“You are real and authentic. That authenticity is beautiful.”
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“You did this! You got her killed! You came into her life and sent her to die with us!”
“No...”
“Any one of us could have died in the accident! But she was everything! She was everything and you cast her away! There is no forgiveness for you! Only pain, only suffering, only death!”
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“Acceptance. Acceptance is the only way you’re going to see her again.”
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“You took her in when no one else would. You kept her from being homeless. You gave her the inspiration and care that she so desperately needed.”
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“You’re not alone, and you’ll never be alone. There will be those who guide you on your journey...and those you will guide through your wisdom of the journey. But know that no matter how hard it gets, how many times you fall, how many tears you shed...you’ll never be alone.
When everything seems hopeless, when everything has fallen apart, find that special thing that fills your heart with passion...
...and never let it go...
...never let it go.”
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“The Gate...is...locked.”
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“It's her pain. The pain I promised to carry. She hurt... She hurt so much.”
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“I let go of your suffering for you've suffered enough. I release your pain, and free you to the light.”
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My Compassion
My Grace
My Wisdom
My Strength
My Courage
My Will
My Life
My Love
***
“I had a dream I didn't want to wake up from.”
“What happened in it?”
“You came back...”
“From where?”
“...your trip. Out west.”
“What did I do?”
“You were so excited to see me that you tackled me to the floor.”
“Haha! Sounds like something I'd do.”
“You wouldn't let me go. We just stayed like that.”
“What happened after?”
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“I love you.”
***
“... I woke up.”
- Jaclyn