You were there for me, and I you. When I wrote the saddest ending that had ever graced my mind, I was so upset that I texted you needing to talk. Instead of texting back, you called me. Although you were at a friend’s house, you were prepared to talk to me all night.
I was there during your suicide scare. I was there when you sent an email saying you had no idea what your purpose in life was, and that you were feeling suicidal. You texted me at 330 in the morning saying that you were ready to walk into the forest and die alone and in the cold. It was the scariest moment in my life, and I was prepared to drive to your house to be there and help you through a dark time. Luckily, you went to bed and got back to me when I was on lunch.
You were sad when I shared my dark thoughts with you, and you related with feeling like life may not be worth living, but you were my light in my darkness and I wasn’t going to let it fade.
When you found out that I was struggling to stay alive, you were pissed that my body would ever want such a thing. I helped you realize that your purpose may simply not be clear yet, and that you were surrounded by several reasons to stay alive. The positive words you say to people would brighten their day forever, and they would share your words spreading happiness across the world.
You loved to surprise me as I was writing at my favorite spot to write, and wine was always involved. “Want some juice?” as we walked upstairs. It was definitely not juice. We shared a bottle in the car that you wanted to celebrate our friendship with, and I spent 2 hours comforting you during a breakdown you had the same night. I wiped away your tears as they ran down your cheeks, and I hugged you repeatedly as you shivered from the emotions leaving your body.
You were there for me, and I you.
And then I broke your heart.
- Jaclyn