Things have been nothing short of spectacular over the past few weeks, although very little has happened or changed at all. Might as well touch on meds for a sec: the shit my doc put me on was horrible. I was stuck in a dual-existence kind of state where my emotional responses were inextricably excised from the daily ebb and flow, and I still experienced the kind of meltdown that paralyzed me in hysterics on several occasions in the past. I honestly don't know what my triggers are, not at all. Before meds, yeah, i was all over the place but entirely functional and then I found myself in a series of ups and downs that I haven't ever experienced while under the care of docs with access to the finest pharmaceuticals that my uninsured ass can buy. Now? That shit is in the past and I'm just gonna ride this buckin' bronco of an emotional rollercoaster all the way to the grave. How fucking worth it are meds that keep you from feeling the highs and productive motivation of mania while still allowing the floor to fall out from under you? I wish they would prescribe heroin...
Oh, speaking of heroin, the narcotic painkillers that I got when I landed in the trees and fell about 30 ft were absolutely ineffective. Why? Because the efficacy of narcotics lies in their ability to bring on euphoria. You still feel pain, but just don't give a fuck. The psych meds my doc put me on even prevented me from feeling the euphoria... no pleasure, no quarter. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Not really, but I'm sure you follow.
Thanksgiving was awesome. As usual, I gave thanks that I do not live on a reservation like the rest of the families of the original guests of that smallpox-laden dinner now find themselves. Yeah yeah yeah, they can have peyote and casinos, but is that really a fair trade? I think not. Fuck you, pilgrims, and your prude customs and clothes. I actually spent the weekend meeting my gf's extended family. They all absolutely love me, so I guess that means I'm in. it's kind of nice to experience the family togetherness that a close family brings to the holidays. I'm afraid my old ass might be ready to drop some roots... After Afghanistan, of course.
Now, speaking of my gf. She has honestly broadened my cultural horizons beyond what I could ever imagine. Before I met her I roundly rejected the kind of music she listens to just on the grounds that the lyrics are total trite garbage, if not nonsense. But after seeing her work that Cuban ass on the dance floor, I have a new respect for that booty-shaking music. I've also learned to blend into the urban culture with new language skillz, like "girl, let me at that monkey," and "my flats look like flapjacks, pancakes, you know!" On a serious note, those artists really may be legally retarded. Who the fuck says that? But as long as she can shake it like a pom pom, I'll continue listening.
Next week I start a 2-week hand-to-hand course that I am completely stoked for. Getting my ass whooped for 13 straight days is exactly what the doctor ordered. Bring it.
That is all. I hope this finds you all well and warm and full of turkey and beer and vodka and good tunes.
Now listening to:
Oh, speaking of heroin, the narcotic painkillers that I got when I landed in the trees and fell about 30 ft were absolutely ineffective. Why? Because the efficacy of narcotics lies in their ability to bring on euphoria. You still feel pain, but just don't give a fuck. The psych meds my doc put me on even prevented me from feeling the euphoria... no pleasure, no quarter. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Not really, but I'm sure you follow.
Thanksgiving was awesome. As usual, I gave thanks that I do not live on a reservation like the rest of the families of the original guests of that smallpox-laden dinner now find themselves. Yeah yeah yeah, they can have peyote and casinos, but is that really a fair trade? I think not. Fuck you, pilgrims, and your prude customs and clothes. I actually spent the weekend meeting my gf's extended family. They all absolutely love me, so I guess that means I'm in. it's kind of nice to experience the family togetherness that a close family brings to the holidays. I'm afraid my old ass might be ready to drop some roots... After Afghanistan, of course.
Now, speaking of my gf. She has honestly broadened my cultural horizons beyond what I could ever imagine. Before I met her I roundly rejected the kind of music she listens to just on the grounds that the lyrics are total trite garbage, if not nonsense. But after seeing her work that Cuban ass on the dance floor, I have a new respect for that booty-shaking music. I've also learned to blend into the urban culture with new language skillz, like "girl, let me at that monkey," and "my flats look like flapjacks, pancakes, you know!" On a serious note, those artists really may be legally retarded. Who the fuck says that? But as long as she can shake it like a pom pom, I'll continue listening.
Next week I start a 2-week hand-to-hand course that I am completely stoked for. Getting my ass whooped for 13 straight days is exactly what the doctor ordered. Bring it.
That is all. I hope this finds you all well and warm and full of turkey and beer and vodka and good tunes.
Now listening to: