We evolved into the near-hairless primates that we are today without wings, but we fly. We left the oceans long ago, and now savor every breath of air in mammalian lungs, but we have machines that can keep us submersed for months or years. We adapted to a natural diet of animal proteins and vegetables, but we created artificial sweeteners and preservatives that can keep cake-like foods wrapped in plastic around and on your grocers shelves even after a nuclear holocaust turns us all to scorch marks on the walls of concrete jungles. We take the forward progression of natural selection, and through a mighty concerted group effort, kick it square in the ballsack.
Forget your knowledge of historical timelines and events and imagine a world where cavemen have twinkies. Those that eat these delicious abominations (for the sake of this illustration, the twinkies in question are the fried ones covered in powdered sugar and chocolate sauce that the carnies make) develop type II diabetes (of course they dont know what the fuck that is, but they have it). Over time their feet swell and their calves, once toned from pursuing gazelles across the prairie, turn to cankles, the cells infarct and turn necrotic, and ipso facto they become sabre-toothed tiger food. Fatties that pound twinkies dont reproduce as much, natural selection thins the ranks of obese twinkie-eaters, and the strong survive. Back to the ballsack kick: this process of natural selection is no longer the leading process of evolutionary development.
Im not sure that there is a weed-out process anymore. We have banded together, united, and shouted in unison a loud fuck you to Darwin and his crazy ideas (and by proxy anyone that agrees). People born without the ability to form coherent thoughts or wipe their own asses (obviously I mean ever, not just in the first years of life), with the help of litigation and big-hearted people, live long and (we tell ourselves) fruitful lives. No longer do Americans have to fear the sabre-toothed tiger or long cold winters even though some apparently procreate like theyre expecting to face down famine and disease and, like, an 80% attrition rate in livestock we can ALL survive. We are ALL the strongest.
There wasnt a clear thesis to this blog, I know I just saw a Honda Civic on the interstate today with a huge yellow caution sign on the roof letting all other motorists know that the driver was mentally handicapped, all bedecked in yellow blinking lights and black-and-yellow hash-mark caution tape We really are a society that goes out of its way to accommodate everyone. I dont know why this irks me. I cling to the hope that there are still groups of people out there that will put your ass on an ice floe once your usefulness has expired and set you adrift in the cold sea. That is all.
Forget your knowledge of historical timelines and events and imagine a world where cavemen have twinkies. Those that eat these delicious abominations (for the sake of this illustration, the twinkies in question are the fried ones covered in powdered sugar and chocolate sauce that the carnies make) develop type II diabetes (of course they dont know what the fuck that is, but they have it). Over time their feet swell and their calves, once toned from pursuing gazelles across the prairie, turn to cankles, the cells infarct and turn necrotic, and ipso facto they become sabre-toothed tiger food. Fatties that pound twinkies dont reproduce as much, natural selection thins the ranks of obese twinkie-eaters, and the strong survive. Back to the ballsack kick: this process of natural selection is no longer the leading process of evolutionary development.
Im not sure that there is a weed-out process anymore. We have banded together, united, and shouted in unison a loud fuck you to Darwin and his crazy ideas (and by proxy anyone that agrees). People born without the ability to form coherent thoughts or wipe their own asses (obviously I mean ever, not just in the first years of life), with the help of litigation and big-hearted people, live long and (we tell ourselves) fruitful lives. No longer do Americans have to fear the sabre-toothed tiger or long cold winters even though some apparently procreate like theyre expecting to face down famine and disease and, like, an 80% attrition rate in livestock we can ALL survive. We are ALL the strongest.
There wasnt a clear thesis to this blog, I know I just saw a Honda Civic on the interstate today with a huge yellow caution sign on the roof letting all other motorists know that the driver was mentally handicapped, all bedecked in yellow blinking lights and black-and-yellow hash-mark caution tape We really are a society that goes out of its way to accommodate everyone. I dont know why this irks me. I cling to the hope that there are still groups of people out there that will put your ass on an ice floe once your usefulness has expired and set you adrift in the cold sea. That is all.