jbusy

I'm so sad this evening for some reason. I don't even know why. I think it's because once again, I don't have any friends. I know in time I'll meet some. I have until June, anyway. I mean, I have my man and our roommate, who also happens to be one of my best friends in the world. I don't know. I need someone to paint my toenails. Someone to let me paint theirs. I need female companionship. I haven't had it in so long. Years it seems like. It seems like I make a new best friend everywhere I go. Florida is my hometown so that's obvious, but New York it was Foster (who is my roommate now), Nashville it was Clinton, but Pittsburgh.... Pittsburgh kind of means nothing at all to me. I wish I knew more girls like me. I don't know any. Even the girls I grew up with are absolutely nothing like me. My best friend on the planet is the complete opposite of me. Some hippie bitch who lives as far away from me as possible without leaving the continental United States.
I don't want new best friends.
I want girls that want to hang out with me.
Girls that laugh at dick and fart jokes.
Girls that cuddle when they're sad.
Girls that cuddle when they're happy.
Girls that cuddle.
Girls that will have sleep overs.
Girls that will go bowling.
Girls that will get drunk and sing silly songs loud.
Girls that will take me out with them.
Girls that will make me feel welcome to be friends with them.

I haven't met any girls like that ever, probably.
The only girl friends I have I've had since elementary school and in those days you're too young to think you're better than anyone. I still feel that young sometimes. Most people seem to think the opposite about me. I come off like I think I'm better than everyone, but in reality I'm too self conscious to start conversation. I don't know who will relate to this but sometimes a girl just needs another girl to hold her hand. At least I do. I'm so god damned whiny. Fucking Christ. No wonder I don't have any friends.