I had the notion in my head that revealing your weaknesses, your failure as a complete human being was infact a weakness all of it's own. Why would showing the world what you deem to be wrong about yourself be anything but weak and cause embarassment and lack of respect by others. But what it took me so long to show for fear of such consequences made me realise in a second that I have by admiting to my faults become strong and and taken ownership of my life again.
When we are children and beginning in life we don't see the judgment others force upon us, or that we force upon ourselves. When you were learning to walk, take your first steps, you didn't fall down and not get up again. We instictively try again, without fear that your mother will laugh or your father disown you. There is so much courage and conviction in getting back up again.
So why now as adults, with a life time of knowledge not understand that to be strong you can be vaulnarable, you can admit you are wrong or in trouble. If we constantly never bring to the table those hidden flaws we keep to ourselves, then how will we ever fix them?
To some I may seem vaulnarable, weak, lost and insecure. But that just exists in the mind of those who themselves are truly scared to admit failure. I say this without vanity or an inflated head, that I am truly proud of myself.
today i did something for myself. I applied to be a suicide girl. It was something I had intended on doing for sometime but I got so caught up on how beautiful, unique, edgy these girls are. After spending hours each day going through sets I started to doubt myself. I felt not enough. I have never fit in with the so called "normal" crowd, I was literally exhiled to theatre island in highschool and branded an art freak, which i secretly loved. But here in a world where different is celebrated, where being different is home, I felt not unique enough. It took some time to realise the parts that were me. I am thankful for all the people here that helped me realise that.
here is one of the photos i submitted, i know it isnt sexy or edgy but it felt right to just submit these photos of a simple me. I feel I need to somewhat start from the beginning again. fresh start, just felt right
I am the girl who loves the smell of rain, jumping into a hot car, thinks swinging in the park is her saviour. Who uses her doll face and curvy body as a canvas exploring many new visons, styles and themes. Who everyone says brings more energy and happiness into every room she enters. Who knows nothing of statstics or numbers but doesnt care because creation, vision and stories are her life and that IS enough. who makes you dress up as animals at night and go on midnight rampages taking pictures and filming (true story). Who dances, all the time, because nothing in the world feels as good. and no matter how hard she tries she will always grab a spoon and clear out a whole peanut butter jar without thinking.
When we are children and beginning in life we don't see the judgment others force upon us, or that we force upon ourselves. When you were learning to walk, take your first steps, you didn't fall down and not get up again. We instictively try again, without fear that your mother will laugh or your father disown you. There is so much courage and conviction in getting back up again.
So why now as adults, with a life time of knowledge not understand that to be strong you can be vaulnarable, you can admit you are wrong or in trouble. If we constantly never bring to the table those hidden flaws we keep to ourselves, then how will we ever fix them?
To some I may seem vaulnarable, weak, lost and insecure. But that just exists in the mind of those who themselves are truly scared to admit failure. I say this without vanity or an inflated head, that I am truly proud of myself.
today i did something for myself. I applied to be a suicide girl. It was something I had intended on doing for sometime but I got so caught up on how beautiful, unique, edgy these girls are. After spending hours each day going through sets I started to doubt myself. I felt not enough. I have never fit in with the so called "normal" crowd, I was literally exhiled to theatre island in highschool and branded an art freak, which i secretly loved. But here in a world where different is celebrated, where being different is home, I felt not unique enough. It took some time to realise the parts that were me. I am thankful for all the people here that helped me realise that.
here is one of the photos i submitted, i know it isnt sexy or edgy but it felt right to just submit these photos of a simple me. I feel I need to somewhat start from the beginning again. fresh start, just felt right
I am the girl who loves the smell of rain, jumping into a hot car, thinks swinging in the park is her saviour. Who uses her doll face and curvy body as a canvas exploring many new visons, styles and themes. Who everyone says brings more energy and happiness into every room she enters. Who knows nothing of statstics or numbers but doesnt care because creation, vision and stories are her life and that IS enough. who makes you dress up as animals at night and go on midnight rampages taking pictures and filming (true story). Who dances, all the time, because nothing in the world feels as good. and no matter how hard she tries she will always grab a spoon and clear out a whole peanut butter jar without thinking.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
discosleaze:
youre cute x
gmonay:
Do your thing. The first line caught me off guard, just at that moment I was thinking how I hesitate socially - synchronicity perhaps. We all do it, but it's so much better when I'm going through life without hesitation or (worse) calculation.