.rock. .hard place.
........ ^.......
.......me......
other than having a ok time last night, i really fucking hate my life right now.
one of my favorite tdx boys, matt, came over last night to drink some beer with me and my roommate craig last night. adal came home. we watched "natoinal lampoons:adam and eve" which was surprisigly good, and then matt left. my buddy darkprime came over and we watched "history of violence" which i guess was ok. they got drunk, and we went to dennys and seriously had the best meal of our entire lives. it was phenomenal..
but aside from that, i could kill someone today. ive been sick and really really depressed for nearly three weeks. ive had an awesome time with calo, hes really amazing, and i care so much about him... but really, the whole situation is just causing more problems inside my fucked up head. i dont know what to do or how to feel. i missed an exam, that i get to make up, but im still not ready for it because i couldnt afford to buy the book. i mean, i ve gone this far with a 3.5, but now i need the book, and i cant afford it, so im kinda screwed. jamie and i are moving into the kedzie house, which im super excited about, but im also super broke. american eagle is taking their sweet ass time getting me back in there, and i still dont have another job because no one has called me back. which is weird because everyone is supposedly hiring right now. i should have just gone home for the summer.... but.... im too stubbourn for that.
i dont want to see or talk to ANYONE today. except dave. i just called him at work and told him that if i dont get to see him tonight, im pretty much going to kill someone. so im going over there at midnight. i realize more and more each day i spend without him how much i really do love him.... and it really scares the shit out of me. i mean, we both have so many things going on right now, its basically decided that after he gets a job we wont be together. i mean, hes so talented and so smart, hes going to get a good job outside this state, i know it. and ive still got school to finish. but man.... i wish things could be different. i really do.
im just so discontent with my whole life right now.
and i havent seen my therapist in at least a month.
........ ^.......
.......me......
other than having a ok time last night, i really fucking hate my life right now.
one of my favorite tdx boys, matt, came over last night to drink some beer with me and my roommate craig last night. adal came home. we watched "natoinal lampoons:adam and eve" which was surprisigly good, and then matt left. my buddy darkprime came over and we watched "history of violence" which i guess was ok. they got drunk, and we went to dennys and seriously had the best meal of our entire lives. it was phenomenal..
but aside from that, i could kill someone today. ive been sick and really really depressed for nearly three weeks. ive had an awesome time with calo, hes really amazing, and i care so much about him... but really, the whole situation is just causing more problems inside my fucked up head. i dont know what to do or how to feel. i missed an exam, that i get to make up, but im still not ready for it because i couldnt afford to buy the book. i mean, i ve gone this far with a 3.5, but now i need the book, and i cant afford it, so im kinda screwed. jamie and i are moving into the kedzie house, which im super excited about, but im also super broke. american eagle is taking their sweet ass time getting me back in there, and i still dont have another job because no one has called me back. which is weird because everyone is supposedly hiring right now. i should have just gone home for the summer.... but.... im too stubbourn for that.
i dont want to see or talk to ANYONE today. except dave. i just called him at work and told him that if i dont get to see him tonight, im pretty much going to kill someone. so im going over there at midnight. i realize more and more each day i spend without him how much i really do love him.... and it really scares the shit out of me. i mean, we both have so many things going on right now, its basically decided that after he gets a job we wont be together. i mean, hes so talented and so smart, hes going to get a good job outside this state, i know it. and ive still got school to finish. but man.... i wish things could be different. i really do.
im just so discontent with my whole life right now.
and i havent seen my therapist in at least a month.
armadillofuzz:
really like history of violence.