Is it me or did the year blow by? I'm under deadline for a project that I need to send out by the 23rd, then there's another big show to plan for early December, and I know the time between now and then is going to fly by, so by the time I come down from that, its going to be the end of this year and 2007 already!
I really, truly can't believe how much has happened this year to me. Seems like a lifetime in a year.
I lost love and a dear friend, and I don't know that I'll get the latter back. . . I saw the retirements of two men I respected and am priviledged to call people I know -- although both seem to be getting their 2nd wind. . . I saw my brother grow closer with his wife. I had it out with her, and its still not healed, although I suppose its a step. I started a new career,with many loops, turns, and potholes. But I continue on down that road. . . I took charge of other people's careers, which, when I saw others in my situation, I always thought was the blind leading the dumb. Well, guess I'l just have to see, whether I can or not. . . I got to my heaviest since being diagnosed, and I cared the least. Now I weigh close to the lightest I have in years, and now I care more than ever. . . I feel like I've left the film industry I came out here to succeed in, although I still persevere to legitimize myself. . . I've had flings like never in my life -- picked up in a bar, juggled multiple girlfriends at once (wish it had been in the same room), broke up, been dumped, bounced back, moved on (no, not talking about her; I mean the other ones). . . I'm older than ever before, but feel younger than ever. . . I'm watching my nieces grow up, making new friends (not the least of which through this online community) -- even had to deal with a few deaths.
As every year closes, I typically have at least some sense of what I accomplished and / or what direction I need to steer towards for the next year. This time, however, I find myself more lost and confused than ever. I'm not sure what to make of this past year, and I have no idea what is likely to happen in the next. I could possibly achieve the pinnacle of my dreams, or I could find myself starting life all over. It's a very unnerving feeling, but I suppose its also par for the course of life. All in or not at all. I've got a lot on the line, but then again, I suppose if I crap out, I'll be able to just walk away.
Meh. I suppose we just keep on keepin' on, if only just to see what happens.
I really, truly can't believe how much has happened this year to me. Seems like a lifetime in a year.
I lost love and a dear friend, and I don't know that I'll get the latter back. . . I saw the retirements of two men I respected and am priviledged to call people I know -- although both seem to be getting their 2nd wind. . . I saw my brother grow closer with his wife. I had it out with her, and its still not healed, although I suppose its a step. I started a new career,with many loops, turns, and potholes. But I continue on down that road. . . I took charge of other people's careers, which, when I saw others in my situation, I always thought was the blind leading the dumb. Well, guess I'l just have to see, whether I can or not. . . I got to my heaviest since being diagnosed, and I cared the least. Now I weigh close to the lightest I have in years, and now I care more than ever. . . I feel like I've left the film industry I came out here to succeed in, although I still persevere to legitimize myself. . . I've had flings like never in my life -- picked up in a bar, juggled multiple girlfriends at once (wish it had been in the same room), broke up, been dumped, bounced back, moved on (no, not talking about her; I mean the other ones). . . I'm older than ever before, but feel younger than ever. . . I'm watching my nieces grow up, making new friends (not the least of which through this online community) -- even had to deal with a few deaths.
As every year closes, I typically have at least some sense of what I accomplished and / or what direction I need to steer towards for the next year. This time, however, I find myself more lost and confused than ever. I'm not sure what to make of this past year, and I have no idea what is likely to happen in the next. I could possibly achieve the pinnacle of my dreams, or I could find myself starting life all over. It's a very unnerving feeling, but I suppose its also par for the course of life. All in or not at all. I've got a lot on the line, but then again, I suppose if I crap out, I'll be able to just walk away.
Meh. I suppose we just keep on keepin' on, if only just to see what happens.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
jerawyn:
Yeah. I tend to get reflective at year end. I try not to freak out, but the older i get the more i feel like i should have done. blah. I try not to let it bother me too much, or i get off track. Hope to see you around tomorrow 
jerawyn:
Me too! One minute all is wonderful, then the next it's 1:30am! Sorry i missed saying bye.