I can't help it. I'm relapsing.
I'm going through the motions of moving on, and in my heart and mind, I truly want to, cuz this existance sucks, but there is too much confusion, anger, and betrayal to ignore what to me was horrible disrespect.
I want to stand on top of this mountain and yell
I want to wake up and break up this lake of hell
I feel like a bitch for letting the sheet twist me up
The last starfighter was wounded, time to give it up
Why does it matter to you?
Because I don't like her thinking that it's okay to ignore a person's feelings, even if you're not technically obligated to them.
Why can't you let it go?
Because not standing by my anger essentially justifies her behavior.
Wouldn't letting go of this baggage make you feel better, lighten your load?
No, it would make me feel like I grew tired of standing by my convictions and decided to cut bait. I would be turning my back on myself.
What would make you feel better?
A sincere, remorsefull, contrite apology for her behavior, with real steps towards proving her regret?
Do you think you'll get it anytime soon?
No. Unfortunately, I know better than that.
What do you want to tell her?
It didn't need to be this way. There was a way for us to move on and still be friends. I only needed you to be up front with me, and to show some consideration for me, as I did for you. Instead you took shorts, thought only of yourself, and abandoned any emotional obligation that we'd built with each other over two years. Especially in light of how you proudly walk like you try to do the right thing, you prove yourself to be a hypocrite, a coward, and in retrospect, a liar. You've destroyed this all yourself, and as much as I miss the good of what we had, I don't think you have it in you to step up and take responsibility. I know you don't care about any of this, and that's not a surprise. You don't have the strength to face the music. So you'll keep living in your Ostrich Syndrome world. I'd like to be proven wrong -- I WOULD LOVE TO BE PROVEN WRONG -- but you won't prove me wrong. And that hurts the most.
Sorry, friends. I really don't want this baggage. But I'm having a hard time letting go of it while still being able to look myself in the mirror.
I'm going through the motions of moving on, and in my heart and mind, I truly want to, cuz this existance sucks, but there is too much confusion, anger, and betrayal to ignore what to me was horrible disrespect.
I want to stand on top of this mountain and yell
I want to wake up and break up this lake of hell
I feel like a bitch for letting the sheet twist me up
The last starfighter was wounded, time to give it up
Why does it matter to you?
Because I don't like her thinking that it's okay to ignore a person's feelings, even if you're not technically obligated to them.
Why can't you let it go?
Because not standing by my anger essentially justifies her behavior.
Wouldn't letting go of this baggage make you feel better, lighten your load?
No, it would make me feel like I grew tired of standing by my convictions and decided to cut bait. I would be turning my back on myself.
What would make you feel better?
A sincere, remorsefull, contrite apology for her behavior, with real steps towards proving her regret?
Do you think you'll get it anytime soon?
No. Unfortunately, I know better than that.
What do you want to tell her?
It didn't need to be this way. There was a way for us to move on and still be friends. I only needed you to be up front with me, and to show some consideration for me, as I did for you. Instead you took shorts, thought only of yourself, and abandoned any emotional obligation that we'd built with each other over two years. Especially in light of how you proudly walk like you try to do the right thing, you prove yourself to be a hypocrite, a coward, and in retrospect, a liar. You've destroyed this all yourself, and as much as I miss the good of what we had, I don't think you have it in you to step up and take responsibility. I know you don't care about any of this, and that's not a surprise. You don't have the strength to face the music. So you'll keep living in your Ostrich Syndrome world. I'd like to be proven wrong -- I WOULD LOVE TO BE PROVEN WRONG -- but you won't prove me wrong. And that hurts the most.
Sorry, friends. I really don't want this baggage. But I'm having a hard time letting go of it while still being able to look myself in the mirror.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
"Pussy-whipped? Don't let that pussy whip you! Y'ou gotta whip that pussy!" hee hee
No, but seriously, if we didn't take our baggage around with us on the trip of life, how would the recovery team identify us in a crash? (eh?! eh?! How's THAT metaphor??!) Apparently the woman didn't appreciate you, and she is the type of person who, after coaxing a butterfly to land on her arm, would poke the beautiful thing until she wrecked its wings and it couldn't fly anymore. It's not you, it's HER. I'm sorry for your hurt... sometimes that baggage really does weigh a ton.