I don't know where to start.
Alec and I found out we can't have kids so everything feels sad yesterday. I keep trying to just feel in control and honestly I don't. I wonder if this is my Van Gogh moment? We will adopt some day but for now we are just going to feel the pain of this huge moment. I love her so much and I honestly have no idea how to make her feel good right now. I want to focus on something when she is at work the hours before I go off to work but it is there just staring in my face. I have not had good luck in the child department so it hits me hard today. I'm sharing all this with you guys because I feel like you are my closest friends. I feel beaten. I think I'm just going to lay down and think about everything for a bit.