hi im jared and im a hypochondriac.
im starting to believe it is just a disease as anything else.
i believe i am. ive never met someone who is a bonafide hypochondriac though, so maybe im not.
i was just thinking about how it has started to ruin my life. along with other things. like today i came to the conclusion that i have anxiety. maybe some minor depression, but definately anxiety. i get nervous when im around a whole lot of people. going anywhere im not completely comfortable with means a lot of inner arguing, and nervousness.
my fear of vomiting, especially in public places involuntarily takes over my thoughts. like the first thing i do when i sit down in a classroom is see where the trashcan is. how far from the bathroom am i from here? if that isnt a sign of something weird then i want to know what is. it really ruins your day.
it makes you a worry-wart too. and i seriously do try to just not think these things.
a stomach ache is appendicitis.
a swollen glan is a tumor.
a sore throat is gonna close up on you.
even though i have ultrasounds in my room right here that show the noncancerous cysts, that pain right there... that's testicular cancer.
it goes on like that.
hemorrhoids, sure sign of stomach cancer.
in real reality... everything that i have, normal. everything that i associate it with, rare.
billions of people have lived their full lives without cancer, heart disease, or testicular torsion. the real chances are, im just another one of those billions who will carry on and do my time here on earth and go in time.
im on wellbutrin for smoking cessation. its suppose to be an anti-depressant.
well why isnt it working!! although i havent smoked since 12/31/05
oh well.
im starting to believe it is just a disease as anything else.
i believe i am. ive never met someone who is a bonafide hypochondriac though, so maybe im not.
i was just thinking about how it has started to ruin my life. along with other things. like today i came to the conclusion that i have anxiety. maybe some minor depression, but definately anxiety. i get nervous when im around a whole lot of people. going anywhere im not completely comfortable with means a lot of inner arguing, and nervousness.
my fear of vomiting, especially in public places involuntarily takes over my thoughts. like the first thing i do when i sit down in a classroom is see where the trashcan is. how far from the bathroom am i from here? if that isnt a sign of something weird then i want to know what is. it really ruins your day.
it makes you a worry-wart too. and i seriously do try to just not think these things.
a stomach ache is appendicitis.
a swollen glan is a tumor.
a sore throat is gonna close up on you.
even though i have ultrasounds in my room right here that show the noncancerous cysts, that pain right there... that's testicular cancer.
it goes on like that.
hemorrhoids, sure sign of stomach cancer.
in real reality... everything that i have, normal. everything that i associate it with, rare.
billions of people have lived their full lives without cancer, heart disease, or testicular torsion. the real chances are, im just another one of those billions who will carry on and do my time here on earth and go in time.
im on wellbutrin for smoking cessation. its suppose to be an anti-depressant.
well why isnt it working!! although i havent smoked since 12/31/05
oh well.
i also cant ride on public buses... they freak me out... trains & subways are cool though... i've walked 5 miles to get somewhere because the bus was the only option
and i can't ride in cars driven by new people... and if i convince myself to do it i'm graspy onto my seat for dear life...
i guess its normal for people to have there things... i have more but thats for another time...