I'm forcing myself to be in a better mood so I thought I'd throw in some of my freakish bodily injuries for your enjoyment:
*My boyfriend hit me in the eye (accidentally) with a rubber dildo during sex and broke a blood vessel, so now I have one freakishly red eye.
*My first time riding a motorcycle a couple weeks ago was eventful. I got on the wrong side, apparently, because I singed the inside of my right knee on the exhaust, so now it looks like I put a hot iron to my skin.
*I got stubborn practicing my double jumps (in figure skating) one day and repetitively fell on my right thigh trying a jump that I couldn't land to the point of having a bruise the size of a loaf of bread (I'm not even close to joking... that's how big it is). -- I fell on it accidentally during synchronized ice skating practice (yay! figure skating with a team!) and had to lay on the ice for a good minute or two to let the throbbing cool down. --- I don't really fall that much, even though it sounds like I do, really, I'm a good skater.
*I was smoking a cigarette in the car on the way to class and instead of flicking it out the window, I flicked it back onto the top of my bare foot (I was wearing flip flops). Now it looks like I scraped the top of my foot across a kitchen burner.
*This didn't happen recently, but it's still pretty freakish: I was walking up the stairs with my laptop open and tripped. All I could think of was $1200!!!! and saved my laptop from falling.... at the expense of my face. No joke, I had a bruise on my forehead in the shape of a line all the way across from the top of the screen. Let me tell you, that was sexxxxy.
*The day I got my 3rd (and biggest) tattoo I forgot that the fresh ink gets on everything, and I got blue and black ink ALL OVER my boyfriend's mom's down comforter, so we wrapped me up in saran wrap and when I woke up, the blue had seeped all over everything, and basically my entire torso area was blue. I looked like a smurf. Not really an injury but still pretty freakish.
*A couple of years ago I came back to my dorm obliterated from drinking and somehow got onto my top bunk. I woke up falling face first onto a chair that was somehow right next to the beds and hit my left cheek, side, and front thigh which flipped me onto my back before I landed on the floor. Spent the rest of the night on the futon, woke up with various bruises and injuries.... looked like I got beat up from someone who could only reach the left side of my body.
*I wore stilletos for synchronized ice skating elections one year (I was running for president) which were sooo pretty but I couldn't really walk in them (they were from my sister's wedding, which I almost fell in the aisle... glad I had a groomsman to catch me). I somehow got my heel stuck in one of the many lovely bricks at OU and broke off the heel while beautifully catching myself and hyper-extending my knee at the same time. My knee blew up to the size of a ginormous grapefruit and I couldn't walk up stairs for a few weeks... but on few good notes it was after the season ended... I broke them after elections... and I won
Hope you liked story time.... there will be many more story times to come
Any of you have any similar freakish injury stories that would bring a smile to my face?
*My boyfriend hit me in the eye (accidentally) with a rubber dildo during sex and broke a blood vessel, so now I have one freakishly red eye.
*My first time riding a motorcycle a couple weeks ago was eventful. I got on the wrong side, apparently, because I singed the inside of my right knee on the exhaust, so now it looks like I put a hot iron to my skin.
*I got stubborn practicing my double jumps (in figure skating) one day and repetitively fell on my right thigh trying a jump that I couldn't land to the point of having a bruise the size of a loaf of bread (I'm not even close to joking... that's how big it is). -- I fell on it accidentally during synchronized ice skating practice (yay! figure skating with a team!) and had to lay on the ice for a good minute or two to let the throbbing cool down. --- I don't really fall that much, even though it sounds like I do, really, I'm a good skater.
*I was smoking a cigarette in the car on the way to class and instead of flicking it out the window, I flicked it back onto the top of my bare foot (I was wearing flip flops). Now it looks like I scraped the top of my foot across a kitchen burner.
*This didn't happen recently, but it's still pretty freakish: I was walking up the stairs with my laptop open and tripped. All I could think of was $1200!!!! and saved my laptop from falling.... at the expense of my face. No joke, I had a bruise on my forehead in the shape of a line all the way across from the top of the screen. Let me tell you, that was sexxxxy.
*The day I got my 3rd (and biggest) tattoo I forgot that the fresh ink gets on everything, and I got blue and black ink ALL OVER my boyfriend's mom's down comforter, so we wrapped me up in saran wrap and when I woke up, the blue had seeped all over everything, and basically my entire torso area was blue. I looked like a smurf. Not really an injury but still pretty freakish.
*A couple of years ago I came back to my dorm obliterated from drinking and somehow got onto my top bunk. I woke up falling face first onto a chair that was somehow right next to the beds and hit my left cheek, side, and front thigh which flipped me onto my back before I landed on the floor. Spent the rest of the night on the futon, woke up with various bruises and injuries.... looked like I got beat up from someone who could only reach the left side of my body.
*I wore stilletos for synchronized ice skating elections one year (I was running for president) which were sooo pretty but I couldn't really walk in them (they were from my sister's wedding, which I almost fell in the aisle... glad I had a groomsman to catch me). I somehow got my heel stuck in one of the many lovely bricks at OU and broke off the heel while beautifully catching myself and hyper-extending my knee at the same time. My knee blew up to the size of a ginormous grapefruit and I couldn't walk up stairs for a few weeks... but on few good notes it was after the season ended... I broke them after elections... and I won
Hope you liked story time.... there will be many more story times to come
Any of you have any similar freakish injury stories that would bring a smile to my face?VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
let's see..... i have a scar under my left eye from hide and go seek. we were camping in the middle of nowhere w/ montain lions and everything, so we played w/ teams. i had to pee when the counting was going on( they were on 3 and going up to 50) my teammate gets frustrated and hucks a full beer at me and it nails me just under my left eye. the teammate is one of my best friends, go figure. good news was that we were indefeated.