everybody, raise your glasses, it's time for a toast...
tonight marks 1 year since i last tried to end my pain (read as: kill myself
). so one year, no bodily harm with intent of death; yaaayyy ME! 
Tomorrow: 1 year since my firstadmittance to a psychiatric ward because of afore mentioned suicide attempts, as a result of my depression
but don't worry aboot me, I learned back then that i'm incapable of ending it: even quick slashing, i couldn't cut my wrists deep enough; i saved some of my "good" drugs just in case i made it through the night...blah blah blah. I couldn't do it, plain and simple
doesn't mean that i don't think about those times though, they're a huge part of my current life, because what was wrong with me then is wrong with me now: I'm Depressed (clinicaly) and lonely. I do sometimes wish that i had succeeded, but what lies ahead captures my fancy too.
i just wish, for once, i had a clear view into my future; know what i can look foward to/dread aboot it.
I wish that my friends would actually want me around, insofar as they actually call me to do something.
but alas, i am stuck in my current state, letting be known my most intimate thoughts to people who i would like to get together as a group, and celebrate us all.
I believe this is where i thank you all: In the few months i've been active on SG, y'all have made me feel like i actually matter, that you may be interested in what i have to say...thank you. I wish i could give all of you an actual big BIG BEAR hug right now, but we're accross the country...so until plans can be mad for me to visit y'all, give yourselve's lovings for me
::this has been a stream of conciousness moment; brought to you by, JimminyJamisunLee
tonight marks 1 year since i last tried to end my pain (read as: kill myself
). so one year, no bodily harm with intent of death; yaaayyy ME!
Tomorrow: 1 year since my firstadmittance to a psychiatric ward because of afore mentioned suicide attempts, as a result of my depression
but don't worry aboot me, I learned back then that i'm incapable of ending it: even quick slashing, i couldn't cut my wrists deep enough; i saved some of my "good" drugs just in case i made it through the night...blah blah blah. I couldn't do it, plain and simple
doesn't mean that i don't think about those times though, they're a huge part of my current life, because what was wrong with me then is wrong with me now: I'm Depressed (clinicaly) and lonely. I do sometimes wish that i had succeeded, but what lies ahead captures my fancy too.
i just wish, for once, i had a clear view into my future; know what i can look foward to/dread aboot it.
I wish that my friends would actually want me around, insofar as they actually call me to do something.
but alas, i am stuck in my current state, letting be known my most intimate thoughts to people who i would like to get together as a group, and celebrate us all.
I believe this is where i thank you all: In the few months i've been active on SG, y'all have made me feel like i actually matter, that you may be interested in what i have to say...thank you. I wish i could give all of you an actual big BIG BEAR hug right now, but we're accross the country...so until plans can be mad for me to visit y'all, give yourselve's lovings for me
::this has been a stream of conciousness moment; brought to you by, JimminyJamisunLee
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
industrialpet:
good for you! Most of my teenage life was spent battling dpression and suicide but i am still here today and i wanted to tell you never to give up! i mean who knows where you will be in just one more year maybe right?
glassheart:
blah! that post in the ibtc group made me angry. blah. hows VS treatin you?