The feeling of disconnection to the world that anti depressants gives is a source of depression. Knowing that there is never going to be closeness, intimacy or affection ever again in my life is a constant source of misery and disappointment. And the medication induced bubble causes so much distance from the rest of humanity that I cannot even connect with people on a human level. So faced with the choice of repelling people sans meds or repelling people on meds is (as is my life) truly irrelevant.