james_

everything that's not perfect

cluster headaches, back pain, drinking too much, smoking too much pot, feeling tired, night sweats, pangs of sadness, mood swings, drug cravings, stomach problems, unsatisfactory relationship arrangements, cantgetagirlcantgetajob, time wasting, not reading enough, spending too much, eating poorly, dehydrated, acting like peoples mother, not being myself all the time, best mate in a state, creative block, room's untidy, texting too much, not doing enough exercise, pushing people where they don't want to go, being annoying, being clingy, not being that into her but planning to do it anyway, still living at home, keep forgetting to pay bills, owed money, getting violent, being lazy, being complacent, not giving enough to charity, failing to understand, writing long self-accusatory rants on the internet to people who shouldn't really be interested.

everything that's perfect

little sisters, honey roast ham, acting like a man for a change, home clubbing, endless cups of tea, bitburger, ambient music, surges of self confidence, my mobile phone, american express, ampthill park, smoking just enough pot, improving as a producer, not having smoked a cigarette in months, that moment just then, insomnia by faithless, friends being happy, everytime i see your face i forget why i came here, payday, losing my debts, resolving to overcome inertia, poppy season, everything and everyone is just how i want them to be and i know i'll get the things i don't have because i am not the horrible person i sometimes think i am.