Things have been quite insane/exciting/excruciating/frustrating... etc.
School is a mix of being really great and absolutely miserable. We're learning all these skills that will, at some point in the future, culminate into making me be truly AMAZING, but right now it makes me feel like I could do better holding a piece of charcoal between my toes. i hate being bad at art. because art's one of those things i thought i could do well.
my book for APE is looking really sweet. so i can't wait for that.
my past few weeks having crawled out of thinking i was a lesbian and instead looking at boys as if i were, too, a gay boy, has been quite the experience. i had 3, read THREE, boys asking me out in a matter of days. turned down rocker boy, still stringing along artist boy, and completely falling for my Object of Desire. Oh my god am I scared.
I've learned in the past couple months that my tastes/dates/emotional states are absolutely impossible for almost anybody to keep up with. especially since there's usually a gap of several days/weeks between times i'll be talking to most of my friends, so it'll be "OHMIGOD I LOVE THIS GIRL!" "ahh, i hate her." "OMIGOD I WANNA FUCK EVERYONE ON THE STREET!" "... i'm asexual." "LOOKIT MY FOOT DRAWING!" "LOOKIT THAT HOT UNDERAGED BOY!" ... i either need to learn to control it or just not gossip. pfft.
it feels like an awakening, though, and i can't help but trace it back to the start of the year when i got my SG subscription. before then? my sex life was dead. THANK YOU SG! i think....
School is a mix of being really great and absolutely miserable. We're learning all these skills that will, at some point in the future, culminate into making me be truly AMAZING, but right now it makes me feel like I could do better holding a piece of charcoal between my toes. i hate being bad at art. because art's one of those things i thought i could do well.
my book for APE is looking really sweet. so i can't wait for that.
my past few weeks having crawled out of thinking i was a lesbian and instead looking at boys as if i were, too, a gay boy, has been quite the experience. i had 3, read THREE, boys asking me out in a matter of days. turned down rocker boy, still stringing along artist boy, and completely falling for my Object of Desire. Oh my god am I scared.
I've learned in the past couple months that my tastes/dates/emotional states are absolutely impossible for almost anybody to keep up with. especially since there's usually a gap of several days/weeks between times i'll be talking to most of my friends, so it'll be "OHMIGOD I LOVE THIS GIRL!" "ahh, i hate her." "OMIGOD I WANNA FUCK EVERYONE ON THE STREET!" "... i'm asexual." "LOOKIT MY FOOT DRAWING!" "LOOKIT THAT HOT UNDERAGED BOY!" ... i either need to learn to control it or just not gossip. pfft.
it feels like an awakening, though, and i can't help but trace it back to the start of the year when i got my SG subscription. before then? my sex life was dead. THANK YOU SG! i think....
:::pout (like, HELLA):::
if i had a little spending cash, i'd try to keep you on for longer.
i want to come to APE and visit you at your cute little table.