jamberee_

Okay this an I need advice blog.

So I live on this amazing island and I have an amazing boyfriend that I love and trust....

a long time ago he was in st. john and met a girl and he said they are just friends. He invited her to come visit the island and stay at his place, well recently she bought a plane ticket and is getting here tomorrow.

I am having a huge issue with being jealous over this girl. I feel like I hate this girl, and I am soooo not like that. I love women and I'm confident and am secure in my relationship.


But...even though he said nothings going to happen... this is whats going through my head...


What girl flies across the world to visit a guy for a week that she doesn't have some interest or feelings for?

It's so easy to seduce guys... give me a week staying in any boys apartment I can at least get to first base.

Wheres she going to sleep? He has a futon in his living room but his tv is in his bed and he doesn't have any doors. What is he going to do? At night when its chill time make her sit alone in the living room while he watches tv in his bed? Is he going to let her hang out in his bed and watch tv but not touch her? If he doesn't touch her is there going to be growing sexual tension... cuz any time i'm in a dudes bed and watching movies its really hard to not touch, even if it starts out that way.

I keep wondering if shes beautiful... if shes into him... if he's into her and wishes he could have her but he won't let himself cuz of me...


Then I think, I'm gonig to have to meet this girl and its going to be so hard not to have smoke coming out my ears when I meet her. I do not want to be that girl! I already don't like her and its not fair to her at all.


He promised me nothings going to happen. He promised me that our bed is for us.


I can't be there for the first couple days cuz work is going to be nuts.


I am not even thinking that hes going to fuck her, because I'm pretty sure he wouldn't do that to me, especially now. But the part that is hurting me is that he might WANT to. Am I being crazy????? ( I am being crazy )

Today I told him how mad I am about it and I just allowed myself to get sucked into this jealous rage and I was crying....


When he told me I got very mad and he said that she could stay at my place and I could stay with him but I'm not letting this girl in my space. I don't even know her, he doesn't even really know her. I decided that I needed to let it go and what I did instead was make it nice and clean and welcoming for her... cuz I'm trying to be this confident lovely woman that I am but now that shes coming tomorrow my bloods boiling over and my heart is aching.


Love does some fucked up shit to your logical mind.


I should be mad at him for not askign me first, at the time we were not as serious as we are now and so this girl is coming down here not knowing that he has a girlfriend and that is his fault, not hers.

Part of me wants to pull her aside and be like please oh please dont fuck my man! like that dolly parton song, jolene.


So yeah... ladies?? gentlemen??? what should I do??? What would you do??? I am having a hard time even talkign to him at all because I can't come to terms with it. Jealousy ruins relationships and these trust issues are about me and not him.

one more question... I shot a set with that awesome photographer from L. A. on Sunday. He left island Monday.... how long do I have to wait til I can bug him about my pictures?