Hi everybody!!
I got one week left in Colorado!!!! The winds of change are a comin!! After this last week of work I will take my pay check, hop on a plane to chicago.... spend a bit of time there, and then back to the island which I desperately miss.
My best friend of 10 years and I had a falling out and I feel like this oppressive weight is lifted off of me and I feel so free and good about myself. It took a long long time for me to realize that some people you just gotta let go of... the ones that hurt you repeatedly, but you love unconditionally anyways. Maybe I can love her from afar... the memmories we share are ones I will never forget but its time to ramble on!
I the midst of our falling otu, she lashed out at my other best friend and told her some things that I had spoken about in private. There goes my big mouth getting me in trouble, but that was a low blow... not worth forgiving.
My body is TIRED! 80 hour work weeks are kicking my ass.... I look better than I ever have and I am so excited to be in the arms of hte man that I love!
That is also a kind of sad story... he told me that we would never be together, from teh heart and that we don't have what it takes to be in a relationship.
He hasn't been in a relationship in a decade or so and he is oen of those gorgeous musician types that bangs beautiful women and makes them laugh and moves on...
I can't get it out of my head that hes the one for me though, and another season will hopefully allow this to play out. I want to go down there with no expectations and Idealy, find another wonderful guy.
Someone told me recently taht they think I find men that wont get close to me and thsoe are the only ones I want, as a defense mechanism...
The ones who desperately want me, I throw away without thinking anything of it. Like my summer relationship, who keeps sending me pictures of him crying and poetic text messages about how his heart will never love another woman the same.
Its so hard to let someone else in when you can't get someone out of your head.
I hope that its not a defense mechanism and someday I can be truly loved and love in return. I guess thats what everyone wants. I am so ready to be swept off my feet, but in the mean time I'm doing my thing, trying to improve myself and explore the world.
I am going to be unemployed for 2 months, and I can't frickin wait!! I'm super excited to just lay on the beach and relax for a while.
My set comes out in 3 weeks. I can't decide if its good or not, its not outstanding, I'm sure it won't be like front page material.... but its kinda sexy.... Its very "me" so... I guess thats what matters...
Its going to be my 5th set where people comment... super hot... find a better photographer... and I'm gonna be like... no! I'm cheap and I don't really care that much anymore!
Okay that was a whole lotta ramblin. Love you guys!! Have a great day!
I got one week left in Colorado!!!! The winds of change are a comin!! After this last week of work I will take my pay check, hop on a plane to chicago.... spend a bit of time there, and then back to the island which I desperately miss.
My best friend of 10 years and I had a falling out and I feel like this oppressive weight is lifted off of me and I feel so free and good about myself. It took a long long time for me to realize that some people you just gotta let go of... the ones that hurt you repeatedly, but you love unconditionally anyways. Maybe I can love her from afar... the memmories we share are ones I will never forget but its time to ramble on!
I the midst of our falling otu, she lashed out at my other best friend and told her some things that I had spoken about in private. There goes my big mouth getting me in trouble, but that was a low blow... not worth forgiving.
My body is TIRED! 80 hour work weeks are kicking my ass.... I look better than I ever have and I am so excited to be in the arms of hte man that I love!
That is also a kind of sad story... he told me that we would never be together, from teh heart and that we don't have what it takes to be in a relationship.
He hasn't been in a relationship in a decade or so and he is oen of those gorgeous musician types that bangs beautiful women and makes them laugh and moves on...
I can't get it out of my head that hes the one for me though, and another season will hopefully allow this to play out. I want to go down there with no expectations and Idealy, find another wonderful guy.
Someone told me recently taht they think I find men that wont get close to me and thsoe are the only ones I want, as a defense mechanism...
The ones who desperately want me, I throw away without thinking anything of it. Like my summer relationship, who keeps sending me pictures of him crying and poetic text messages about how his heart will never love another woman the same.
Its so hard to let someone else in when you can't get someone out of your head.
I hope that its not a defense mechanism and someday I can be truly loved and love in return. I guess thats what everyone wants. I am so ready to be swept off my feet, but in the mean time I'm doing my thing, trying to improve myself and explore the world.
I am going to be unemployed for 2 months, and I can't frickin wait!! I'm super excited to just lay on the beach and relax for a while.
My set comes out in 3 weeks. I can't decide if its good or not, its not outstanding, I'm sure it won't be like front page material.... but its kinda sexy.... Its very "me" so... I guess thats what matters...
Its going to be my 5th set where people comment... super hot... find a better photographer... and I'm gonna be like... no! I'm cheap and I don't really care that much anymore!
Okay that was a whole lotta ramblin. Love you guys!! Have a great day!
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
Hope you get some rest from your long work hours and I know what you mean about the guy problems...hope you can find a better one and it plays out ok and it's a shame the guys you like are like that,that they won't get close....that is sad about your summer one though,and I know what you mean about the one who wants you,you throw away....I've done that before....it is hard to let someone else in but you can't force it....it needs time....
Of course you can be loved and love in return but you are right to concentrate on yourself and exploring the world for now....
Enjoy your beach time and can't wait to see your new set...I'm sure it will be great and as long as you're you in it and you're happy with it,that's what matters...
hope you don't get those comments again....and if you're happy going the cheaper route then stick with that...even if you did get a better one it doesn't guarantee you FP....
anyways,have a great week