Let's try again. Lot of people have fake lives online. I'm real online as offline. Everything is 100% me. I've got no problem telling the good, bad, and ugly. Though there are some stuff I'll leave offline. People that know me personally know these things but some stuff shouldn't be said online.
In the real world though I don't talk as much of the deeper stuff. There was a time when I did. There was a time when I was a super free spirit. But life happened and I pulled back and put my guard up. There was a time when I told everyone everything. I also loved openly and faster and more deeply. I had so much love to give after never given the chance to love as a child. Then life happened. There was a time when I had the passion to love everyone and wanted to know everything about everyone. When people moved on with their lives and left me out of them, it hurt. It didn't matter who it was. Then I realized. . . Life happens. There was a time when I made up my mind nothing could change it. I went in guns blazing. Now I'm more cautious. There was a time when I'd help everyone with everything and actively volunteered my services. There was a time when I tried so hard to make friends with everyone. When life happens sometimes it's a good thing, sometimes it's not so pretty. There was a time when I had so much love and passion for everything I went in hardcore with each and every single thing. There was a time when I wanted to be #1 in everything. I learned this isn't a good thing. There was a time when I held promises made by other people to the highest standard.
With all these things came feelings. These feelings were strong with the force (haha). Sometimes these feelings weren't always so good. When these feelings hurt, they hurt real mother fucking bad. Even to the point where I could feel it physically. Now I've got a guard up and it takes a lot to bring it down. Once it's down though. . .
Maybe this blog should be named life happens. Eh, I'll add it.
At work, I've made lots of 'friends'. I use that word loosely. Because, well, humans ya know? I could be having a bad day and when I come to work I brighten up fairly quickly. People actively say hi to me at work. And it's like wow I can't have a bad day here. Outside of work, I tend to shy away from people. It's like please don't talk to me please don't talk to me. lol. Maybe it's because at work I have to see these people 8 hours a day. And at work it's best to make friends not enemies. haha.
I do have one enemy. She's a debbie downer. and a snitch. I mean a full blown snitch. Actively goes out looking for people to snitch on. And actively tells full blown lies to our boss. No it's not just me either. I was put in a position where she told her boss in front of me that someone said something to me that wasn't the case at all. In no way shape or form did this person ever tell me anything that could be interpreted that way. Like wtf dude? I stay away from her as much as possible. She's a toxic person. I don't know wtf life did to her but seriously you need to take a look at your life bitch and straighten up. Of course she won't. She's around 50+ years old.
To end on a good note, Next week I have two days off in a row! I didn't even have to request these days off! I'm pumped! I'd rather not have them in the middle of the week but whatever. I pumped. I got stuff to do and I'll be able to do them! Also I found out a temp was made perm and will be joining our crew on my shift. I've taken to a liking to her bad part about this is everyone in my crew knows I fancy her. No I won't be asking her out. Never would I ask anyone out on my shift. My boss also knows I like her and wants me to train her. I'm like dude I'm gonna die! lol. However I don't like training anyone. If something they do was wrong it falls on my head.
Thank you for reading. Enjoy your week and may the (early) fourth be with you.