jakeypooh

The radio show was pretty sweet. mrsmeaney called in .

i spilled beer on my mac. But it was only an excuse to go visit Meaney and family so he could fix it.

I've decided to attempt to completly cut someone i used to be really close with out of my life. All she does is wither my hope and steal my mind. For the past 3 years she has represented everything i wanted in another person but never really lived up to what i've built up in my head. I don't know if she's continued to let me down because of my high expectation, or just because she likes letting me down, or if it's something in between...but i can't have her in my life anymore, since everytime i have contact with her, her presence looms in my mind and grows like a cancer. i can't deal with it anymore. it makes me sad.

I just finished watching six feet under. This is my second time through it, and it only took me a little over a month to finish the 5 seasons. i literally was shivering the last 20 minutes of the last episode. chills up the spine and tearing up, pretty much leaving me an emotional ball of fuck for the rest of the day.

i've written some pretty good stuff latley, and i'm proud of how my voice has progressed over the past few months, but i don't know if i'l ever have a legitimate band ever again or a real shot at music. i used to feel alive from losing myself in the process and playing music. now it just makes me sad that i'll never be able to write a song that will live forever or that anyone outside of a few of my friends or family will remember for any period of time.

i don't kow. i'm not really sad or meloncholy...i feel pretty much devoid of emotion about my life and complete lack of direction or meaning...and somehow that's worse than self pity or sadness or anger. it's wierd.

i've been listening to the distillers a lot. brody is fucking hot and should do a spread on sg. and "The hunger" is a super fucking tune. check it out.

word.