jakemarley

Yeah, Im back! My membership expired last month, and I have had an even more extraordinarily difficult time getting my student loan refund than usual, so I had no money to pay rent, much less dish out $50 for a web site membership (regardless of how great a deal SG.com offers). Nevertheless, I was thrilled to see that I could re-join the sight and not lose all my old posts and settings. My membership was expired for at least a month, so I wonder exactly how long my posts would have been kept if I didnt re-join.

I am a bit reluctant to post again because I really liked my last post. Is it very conceited to admit you are particularly fond of one of your own posts? I dont think so, especially if one works as hard on them as I sometimes do. I spend more time writing in my journal here than I do in my blog. Nevertheless, despite my previous brilliance, I will continue with some dull facts about my life in the past month.

I switched one of my medications a few weeks ago. Im sure anyone who reads my journal gets tired of my diarizing my drug regimen, but you would do the same if every time you went to the drugstore you left with a bag that looks like its full of Chinese take-away for four. The reason this change is worth mention is because I have been so much more productive since the switch. Seroquel, the anti-psychotic I was using previously, absolutely crippled me for most of the day. I had to stay up for several days at a time just so I would hit this sweet spot some time in the middle when I could work well. This new stuff, Geodon, knocks me on my ass too, but it does so for a shorter period of time and then Im very lucid. The question is have I been getting so much done because of the new medication or because I havent been drooling over SGs for the past month.

Anyway, I shook hands on my first paying web-design deal last week. I spent most of this week writing an extended proposal for the client, which I just finished last night. In my free time, I fought with the financial aid office about my loan refunds, which I obviously received finally; else I would not be posting this here. All in all, I am very happy today. Getting the financial aid problem resolved is a big weight off my shoulders. Moreover, getting that web design contract fills me with a sense of self-confidence that I rarely have. Being the psychotic, bipolar loser at whom all my friends poke fun takes its toll. I feel like I have a chance at a stable, self-sustaining future.

Speaking of stability, today is my wifes birthday. I wish I could tell her that I wish her a happy birthday and that I still love her more than anything, or at least I love my memories of her, but I cant because I havent seen her outside of a courtroom since she left my rotten ass eight years ago. Actually, I don't even think I saw much of her in court that year because I was too traumatized from her absence. I suppose Ill just go buy some more roses just to hang them upside down to dry along the windows with the other dead roses, and then drink myself silly and play with my cat.