Yeah...
It's been much better since my last entry.
And then today hit.
I'm not sure if it was the torrential rain or what, but I have been dwelling on and thinking about shit. Which is not good. Cuz when I get depressed, if I move on and forget about shit, it goes away. But when I dwell on it, said depression turns to anger. Not sure why. But now an almost suicidal depression (it got bad enough for me to actually put a gun to my head, didn't want to talk about it, and posted it here now for unknown reason. Don't pity me, don't want that, or anything like it.) has turned almost completely to anger. Not good, especially if one of the persons whom I am most directing my anger towards and because of starts talking to me.
I don't like being angry. I like to use anger, it gives me a boost when doing manual labor and shit like that (dug a pit for a path in record time), but I don't like being angry, despite being a rather angry person.
It's been much better since my last entry.
And then today hit.
I'm not sure if it was the torrential rain or what, but I have been dwelling on and thinking about shit. Which is not good. Cuz when I get depressed, if I move on and forget about shit, it goes away. But when I dwell on it, said depression turns to anger. Not sure why. But now an almost suicidal depression (it got bad enough for me to actually put a gun to my head, didn't want to talk about it, and posted it here now for unknown reason. Don't pity me, don't want that, or anything like it.) has turned almost completely to anger. Not good, especially if one of the persons whom I am most directing my anger towards and because of starts talking to me.
I don't like being angry. I like to use anger, it gives me a boost when doing manual labor and shit like that (dug a pit for a path in record time), but I don't like being angry, despite being a rather angry person.