Lobotomies for SUVs
So exactly just how much of your brain is included in the sticker price of those massive hunks of metal that were designed for offroad use but instead either haul your brats to soccer practice or you bought simply because you think it makes you look tough? I've wondered this for a while, I've never seen a driver of an SUV who doesn't drive like a complete asshole. Is it a superiority complex from being seated so high off the road? Or are mental deficients just attracted to these vehicles of doom?
I almost got run over by one of these lobotomized auto-pilots the other day while riding my longboard around. I was cruising through a crosswalk that had the "WALK" sign and this shitbird in a giant 'Tard-mobile runs a red light near the C.C. Club and almost fucking takes me out, no brake lights, no nothing. So I quickly have to jump off my board and while doing matrix-like abort maneuvers I landed on my ankle wrong and completely wrenched it. Now I'm hobbling around, worse yet is its the same ankle/foot that I hurt a few months ago and it took forever to heal. Now I'm back being all hop-a-long again.
More snow!!! The last of it is pretty much melted here(the villagers rejoice) but then here we go again(the villagers weep). One day left in March and we are scheduled to get between 6 to 8 inches. Cocksucker!!!! I just want some freaking warm weather. I want to ride my bike without having to be bundled up or risk getting either frozen windburn on my face or getting a road-salty slush bath. Soon the day of reckoning shall come. A day when I can bury my coat deep into the darkest recesses of my closet and not think about it until far, far into the month named November by the Germans meaning "Winter's Vagina"(or so legend foretells) but I digress.
Starting April 17th the MPLS/St. Paul International Film Festival is opening at our theater. This year we are the only theater hosting it. Two weeks worth of good movies.(even the bad ones are miles superior to the colon blow the likes of "Superhero Movie" or 10,000 B.C. which we usually get) I've heard that the new Chuck Palahnuik adaption "Choke" may be playing in this festival. I didn't like the book as much as some of the other ones but Sam Rockwell is the lead role and he is a pretty solid actor.
Another possible highlight is a spanish sci-fi movie called "Time Crimes" and "The Tracy Fragments" starring Ellen Page. We should be getting something like 50 movies or more within the two weeks showing so I'm sure there will be some much better films that I am as of yet unaware of. Our theater might actually be busy finally. Instead of watching youtube or read about how the internet " is not a big truck, it is a series of tubes".
Also look out starting May 12th each Monday through June 2, at the Parkway theater, The Homegrown Cinema Series starts. Locally produced movies will be shown as double features (last I heard). Its being organized by a few people I know. So go support some local cinema ya cheap bastards.
I may be down yonder towards Merrimac next sunday. I heard there is a pirate birthday party. EEEFFFF dis be true den I'll be needing to scrounge up an eyepatch and a pegleg something fierce.
So exactly just how much of your brain is included in the sticker price of those massive hunks of metal that were designed for offroad use but instead either haul your brats to soccer practice or you bought simply because you think it makes you look tough? I've wondered this for a while, I've never seen a driver of an SUV who doesn't drive like a complete asshole. Is it a superiority complex from being seated so high off the road? Or are mental deficients just attracted to these vehicles of doom?
I almost got run over by one of these lobotomized auto-pilots the other day while riding my longboard around. I was cruising through a crosswalk that had the "WALK" sign and this shitbird in a giant 'Tard-mobile runs a red light near the C.C. Club and almost fucking takes me out, no brake lights, no nothing. So I quickly have to jump off my board and while doing matrix-like abort maneuvers I landed on my ankle wrong and completely wrenched it. Now I'm hobbling around, worse yet is its the same ankle/foot that I hurt a few months ago and it took forever to heal. Now I'm back being all hop-a-long again.
More snow!!! The last of it is pretty much melted here(the villagers rejoice) but then here we go again(the villagers weep). One day left in March and we are scheduled to get between 6 to 8 inches. Cocksucker!!!! I just want some freaking warm weather. I want to ride my bike without having to be bundled up or risk getting either frozen windburn on my face or getting a road-salty slush bath. Soon the day of reckoning shall come. A day when I can bury my coat deep into the darkest recesses of my closet and not think about it until far, far into the month named November by the Germans meaning "Winter's Vagina"(or so legend foretells) but I digress.
Starting April 17th the MPLS/St. Paul International Film Festival is opening at our theater. This year we are the only theater hosting it. Two weeks worth of good movies.(even the bad ones are miles superior to the colon blow the likes of "Superhero Movie" or 10,000 B.C. which we usually get) I've heard that the new Chuck Palahnuik adaption "Choke" may be playing in this festival. I didn't like the book as much as some of the other ones but Sam Rockwell is the lead role and he is a pretty solid actor.
Another possible highlight is a spanish sci-fi movie called "Time Crimes" and "The Tracy Fragments" starring Ellen Page. We should be getting something like 50 movies or more within the two weeks showing so I'm sure there will be some much better films that I am as of yet unaware of. Our theater might actually be busy finally. Instead of watching youtube or read about how the internet " is not a big truck, it is a series of tubes".
Also look out starting May 12th each Monday through June 2, at the Parkway theater, The Homegrown Cinema Series starts. Locally produced movies will be shown as double features (last I heard). Its being organized by a few people I know. So go support some local cinema ya cheap bastards.
I may be down yonder towards Merrimac next sunday. I heard there is a pirate birthday party. EEEFFFF dis be true den I'll be needing to scrounge up an eyepatch and a pegleg something fierce.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
And you'll probably shoot me for this... but I just watched High Fidelity for the first time a few days ago
Do you have aim?
The roads were just wide enough for two cars to pass if you were being careful and always had ponies and cows stood on it. Gaurenteed the twat in a 4x4 would try and charge me off the road and into a ditch because I was in my crappy little fiesta. I got into the habit of stopping in the middle of the road, getting out and telling them in the politest voice I could manage that they had the off road vehicle so they could het off the fucking road.
The amout of times I heard stupid shit like "do you know how much my car cost?". Morons. If I had that much money and drove that badly I'd invest in some more driving lessons.
Rant over, you hit a nerve there. Hope the ankle heals quicker this time.