I've been watching bdsm, lately. When people love, or like each other, they often, can't keep a straight face, about the discipline. They ordered the extra spicey, but it was a loving encounter. And if, your senses are raised by a bracing slap in the face, or piquant sting of a spank, that really hits home, & the heat that lingers on the skin. If it adds to a loving, fun time, MAZEL TOV!!!! But that doesn't make me feel any better about the people who go to dungeons, to people, who specifically don't love them - to be, at their own request, beaten, bled, whipped, humiliated, extorted, & raped.
I would love to have a serious conversation with somebody who makes a living, sexually & mentally dominating other human beings (you can d.m. me, if you don't want your identity known. I understand why, you want to hide.) - You don't have to regale me, with talk of "safe words", agreed limits, periodic mid scene check ins, & the like. Setting limits upon the harm you do to others, is NOT an honorific act. Also, spare me the stuff about, how the sub, is the one, in control, & that, it is based on a relationship of complete trust.
A parent who dives in to danger, to save a son, or daughter -THAT'S COMPLETE TRUST!!! When a soldier watches his buddy's back, even at the cost of his own - THAT'S COMPLETE TRUST!!!! - When a person pays a stranger to inflict pain, & surrenders all human dignity, in order to cum, - that's misplaced trust, of the most pathetic kind. It does have the virtue of facing one's darkest fears & deepest shame, & living to walk away, must make a person feel better, for a while, until the demons start stirring again.
Let's face it: BDSM, by its very nature, always involves some kind of pain. The will to give or receive pain, doesn't come from love. It comes from that darkest cornner, in each of us, that believes, we deserve punishment, pain, shame, because we are just a worthless piece of shit!!!!!!! If you make a living, confirming the worst fears of others - TELL ME, HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF?
