jacinda

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My lil Sis Brandi...




Friday 13th
I close my eyes mind begins to journey
Its gets harder to sleep
Minutes go by
So slow without you
I begin to grow weak
thoughts of us flood my mind
Heart beats faster
Each breath as if it were my last
The noises surround me
I listen but no one there
I am alone once again
I do not mind it that much anymore
My heart gets crushed
Left with mind wounded body and lifeless soul
It seems as though I will be alone
Multiple personalities
Who should I be for you?
Who would you like to meet today?
Question after question
Ask and you shall never recieve
I am never right
never the best for you
I am not smart enough
funny or cute
I am like the dirt that rides upon your shoe
As days drift by I wonder
Have I lost myself in you?
I gave you
A shoulder to cry on
An ear to listen
A hand to hold
A heart to love
I am left with nothing to use
I take up space
No time spent with you
I weep
but no shoulder is near by
I talk
but your too engaged to listen
I reach
but no hand to hold
I love
but your heart runs away screaming
Craziness now overcomes me
I talk to the voices diluted with dreams
I dance to insane rhythms
Lick the mouths of the creatures
holding together the sting that binds me
I play with the shadows
Realizing no one is beside me
They are the only ones who seem to care
I fall faster and faster
No one there
I hit rock bottom
The only home that I know
So familiar now I have felt this way before
I told you that i could not care
I told you why
So hard for me to ask for help
All I know to do is run away & cry
Then there is the times that no one's help will do
The voices get to loud
The shadows can not hide
I never get scared
They have always been there
And will always be
The crazyiness is half gone now
I miss it as I grow alone
I have no home to go home to
No better half to complete
The only thing I have is time
Wasted waiting on you
Everyday that goes by
I am thankful
To be alive urning to be dead
Wanting this heart to quit beating
Hoping for my last breath
As I breath deep and close my eyes
FUCK
I am still here feeling pain inside
I will always be your game
I will always be your toy
I am dedicated to broken hearts
no big thing but fucking enjoy
I have made the change
Not at all scared now
I WILL BE MYSELF
I WILL ALAWYS BE INSANE!
Close my eyes
Wanting someone anyone
No one there
I go to sleep once more
Goodnight ugly now lonely world
Tomorrow I will be ready for some more.

-Jaci