My name is Marc, and I have OCD and Teurrett's
Well, only a few more months until my friend moves in with me. I've been on my own since June. It has been an interesting 4ish months, but quite lonely. I have to admit its nice to live on your own, but I would much rather live with somebody than be alone. I find myself often too lazy to do ANYTHING. For me, I need a LOT of encouragement, and living on my own, i only give myself, or get discouragement. Just looking forward to being able to have somebody to chill with and go out on the town and enjoy life.
I'm in need of a girlfriend. I have never really been in a serious relationship. The longest was 5 months, and it was back when I was 15, so that doesn't really even count. Most of my relationships have been based solely on my extreme need for sexual pleasure and experimentation. The girls in high school were either inexperienced, or just not willing to try new things, and that sucked. But I think in high school I was too involved with myself and my needs and getting laid then actually taking time to get to know the girls. That and I think I was really afraid of commitment.
I did have the extreme pleasure, though, of being in a very stimulating, emotional, but overall very enjoyable friendship with 2 girls who I was friends with since 8th grade. We had the funnest parties, which almost always ended up in sexual enlightenment, had good conversations, and just an awesome time together. Since I moved, that friendship is dwindling, and it sucks, but live moves on, right? apparently...
I know the first thing I need to do to find a girlfriend is be more sociable. I have to start going out more often, and just talking to people and trying to find some friends, then I can hopefully find somebody. People tell me "you will run into them when it is time" but I hate that shit. I've been waiting for the right time for a long time, but, alas, I am only 20 years old, so I have plenty of time.
Other than that, I think I should save up some money....but first I have to start making some money lol. I think I should see a shrink and get some fucking pills. My family has a history of having a small case of teurretts syndrome and OCD. Sucks. We are all fucking crazy. If any of you, I know that nobody reads my journal, but sometimes its good to pretend haha, ever get a chance to meet me and hang out with me, you will find out what a true psychopath is like. Ok, maybe not that crazy, but crazy nonetheless. It all started around 3rd grade. My mom used to just call them bad habits, but its quite clear that I need medication.
Its actually gotten to a shitty point, because I have to be very mindful of my actions and words when talking to people. That could be the reason I can't get hired anywhere. I have this shitty nervous twitch in my eye, I look like an idiot when I do it, but its all involuntary, and I hate it. It sucks cuz since I have to monitor that stuff, I am usually prone to doing it more. That and I swear WAY to fucking much. I just need some valium or something, whatever crazy people take, pill me up.
Its funny about my OCD, cuz walking into my apartment, you wouldn't notice, cuz its not exactly organized, but if I drink a lot of caffeine or take energy pills, it just all gets multiplied, and I clean EVERYTHING!
Anywho, other than that, I need to start going to classes. Since I bought GTA San Andreas, i have barely left the house, which isnt much of a change, but yeah.
Well, I better hit the ol' dusty trails, so take it easy, and count your blessings that you dont have what I do, cuz its not fun. Funny, maybe, but not fun.
Well, only a few more months until my friend moves in with me. I've been on my own since June. It has been an interesting 4ish months, but quite lonely. I have to admit its nice to live on your own, but I would much rather live with somebody than be alone. I find myself often too lazy to do ANYTHING. For me, I need a LOT of encouragement, and living on my own, i only give myself, or get discouragement. Just looking forward to being able to have somebody to chill with and go out on the town and enjoy life.
I'm in need of a girlfriend. I have never really been in a serious relationship. The longest was 5 months, and it was back when I was 15, so that doesn't really even count. Most of my relationships have been based solely on my extreme need for sexual pleasure and experimentation. The girls in high school were either inexperienced, or just not willing to try new things, and that sucked. But I think in high school I was too involved with myself and my needs and getting laid then actually taking time to get to know the girls. That and I think I was really afraid of commitment.
I did have the extreme pleasure, though, of being in a very stimulating, emotional, but overall very enjoyable friendship with 2 girls who I was friends with since 8th grade. We had the funnest parties, which almost always ended up in sexual enlightenment, had good conversations, and just an awesome time together. Since I moved, that friendship is dwindling, and it sucks, but live moves on, right? apparently...
I know the first thing I need to do to find a girlfriend is be more sociable. I have to start going out more often, and just talking to people and trying to find some friends, then I can hopefully find somebody. People tell me "you will run into them when it is time" but I hate that shit. I've been waiting for the right time for a long time, but, alas, I am only 20 years old, so I have plenty of time.
Other than that, I think I should save up some money....but first I have to start making some money lol. I think I should see a shrink and get some fucking pills. My family has a history of having a small case of teurretts syndrome and OCD. Sucks. We are all fucking crazy. If any of you, I know that nobody reads my journal, but sometimes its good to pretend haha, ever get a chance to meet me and hang out with me, you will find out what a true psychopath is like. Ok, maybe not that crazy, but crazy nonetheless. It all started around 3rd grade. My mom used to just call them bad habits, but its quite clear that I need medication.
Its actually gotten to a shitty point, because I have to be very mindful of my actions and words when talking to people. That could be the reason I can't get hired anywhere. I have this shitty nervous twitch in my eye, I look like an idiot when I do it, but its all involuntary, and I hate it. It sucks cuz since I have to monitor that stuff, I am usually prone to doing it more. That and I swear WAY to fucking much. I just need some valium or something, whatever crazy people take, pill me up.
Its funny about my OCD, cuz walking into my apartment, you wouldn't notice, cuz its not exactly organized, but if I drink a lot of caffeine or take energy pills, it just all gets multiplied, and I clean EVERYTHING!
Anywho, other than that, I need to start going to classes. Since I bought GTA San Andreas, i have barely left the house, which isnt much of a change, but yeah.
Well, I better hit the ol' dusty trails, so take it easy, and count your blessings that you dont have what I do, cuz its not fun. Funny, maybe, but not fun.
quenten:
Hey guy. I actually have OCD and Tourette's Syndrome, though I'm generally good at hiding it in public. If you need someone to talk to about it, I don't know a lot, but I betcha I understand more than most psychologists.