I now have $2,458.50 in my checking account. More money than I've ever had in my life. Granted, a good 95% of this will be gone in a week (more on that later) but, hey...
If the year of 2005 was a movie, this is where my theme music would be playing. Loud and triumphant. As I stand over the grave of my sworn enemy, the music swells and the credits roll.
A little background: I started this year in the lowest of low streaks. A sense of approaching doom that I couldn't quite shake finally came to a head when I very nearly got evicted the first week of January. More than one bounced check landed me $850 in debt; money owed to the landlord. This set off a whole series of near-misses and one-day-at-a-time moments that forced me to pinch my pennies to a ridiculous degree and pretty much sell anything that wasn't nailed down. And after all the times I nearly got fired from the only job I ever needed, off on the razor's edge this year. How scary it all was.
Not to say I've become victorious, or whatever. I'm just far more responsible now than I once was, and much, much smarter than I was this time last year. These days I prefer hard work to wishful thinking. And I prefer activism to slackerism. It took the full threat of homelessness to get me to be pro-active.
Why do I always only seem to be able to learn things the hard way? Why does it always seem to take a kick in the balls for me to get my act together?
Anyway, I'm just a metaphoric hop skip and a jump away from buying a new computer with (mostly) my own money. I finally learned how to balance a budget this year. And in just 2-3 business days, I will own something that I only used to look at through shop windows from the 1950s, the snowy air creating steam from my breath, fogging the window and obscuring the very object of my desires. All I could do in those days is look mournfully at the camera and mumble "She will be mine... Oh yes... She will be mine...."
And now she is. Hard work pays off.
Not to say that I suddenly subscribe to the bootstrap theory or anything. But being a casual anarchist wasn't exactly getting the rent paid on time. It's still a really fucking unfair world out there. Unfortunately I had to learn this year that, in order to get a bite to eat, sometimes principles have to be set aside. I'm going to let you in on a little secret: if you're a woman, don't bother applying to the Pie. They won't hire you. They probably won't even read your application. Unless you happen to be related to the whole make-line, you will probably have a better chance of growing a penis than getting a job there.
In two weeks or so, if the year 2005 were a movie, it will be that little tacked on scene at the end that hints at the possiblity of a sequel. In that time I will have bought my first video camera: A filter of endless dreams. All those peculiar visions I've struggled to describe to you will be brought to the forefront with crystal clarity. For the first time in my life I feel like I have a clear and concise goal. A purpose for living.
Are you excited?
I'm excited!
(HOLY SHIT, I'm listening to the goddamn radio. And there it is...)
My theme song!
Silence Kid
silent kit, no one to remind you
you got no here, no reals to remind you
silent kit, don't take your pawn shop home
on the road, god damn you,
silent kit, don't lose your graceful tongue
this is the city life, this is the city i come from
let's talk about leaving
c'mon now, talk about your family
your sister's cursed, your father's old and damned, yeah
silent kit, don't listen to the grandmother's advice about us, you're
solid kit don't listen to the rain...
hand me the drum stick, snare...KICK
blues calls upon thy...myself
into the spotlight, ecstasy feels so warm, inside
till five hours later i'm...chewin'...screwin' myself with my hands
If the year of 2005 was a movie, this is where my theme music would be playing. Loud and triumphant. As I stand over the grave of my sworn enemy, the music swells and the credits roll.
A little background: I started this year in the lowest of low streaks. A sense of approaching doom that I couldn't quite shake finally came to a head when I very nearly got evicted the first week of January. More than one bounced check landed me $850 in debt; money owed to the landlord. This set off a whole series of near-misses and one-day-at-a-time moments that forced me to pinch my pennies to a ridiculous degree and pretty much sell anything that wasn't nailed down. And after all the times I nearly got fired from the only job I ever needed, off on the razor's edge this year. How scary it all was.
Not to say I've become victorious, or whatever. I'm just far more responsible now than I once was, and much, much smarter than I was this time last year. These days I prefer hard work to wishful thinking. And I prefer activism to slackerism. It took the full threat of homelessness to get me to be pro-active.
Why do I always only seem to be able to learn things the hard way? Why does it always seem to take a kick in the balls for me to get my act together?
Anyway, I'm just a metaphoric hop skip and a jump away from buying a new computer with (mostly) my own money. I finally learned how to balance a budget this year. And in just 2-3 business days, I will own something that I only used to look at through shop windows from the 1950s, the snowy air creating steam from my breath, fogging the window and obscuring the very object of my desires. All I could do in those days is look mournfully at the camera and mumble "She will be mine... Oh yes... She will be mine...."
And now she is. Hard work pays off.
Not to say that I suddenly subscribe to the bootstrap theory or anything. But being a casual anarchist wasn't exactly getting the rent paid on time. It's still a really fucking unfair world out there. Unfortunately I had to learn this year that, in order to get a bite to eat, sometimes principles have to be set aside. I'm going to let you in on a little secret: if you're a woman, don't bother applying to the Pie. They won't hire you. They probably won't even read your application. Unless you happen to be related to the whole make-line, you will probably have a better chance of growing a penis than getting a job there.
In two weeks or so, if the year 2005 were a movie, it will be that little tacked on scene at the end that hints at the possiblity of a sequel. In that time I will have bought my first video camera: A filter of endless dreams. All those peculiar visions I've struggled to describe to you will be brought to the forefront with crystal clarity. For the first time in my life I feel like I have a clear and concise goal. A purpose for living.
Are you excited?
I'm excited!
(HOLY SHIT, I'm listening to the goddamn radio. And there it is...)
My theme song!
Silence Kid
silent kit, no one to remind you
you got no here, no reals to remind you
silent kit, don't take your pawn shop home
on the road, god damn you,
silent kit, don't lose your graceful tongue
this is the city life, this is the city i come from
let's talk about leaving
c'mon now, talk about your family
your sister's cursed, your father's old and damned, yeah
silent kit, don't listen to the grandmother's advice about us, you're
solid kit don't listen to the rain...
hand me the drum stick, snare...KICK
blues calls upon thy...myself
into the spotlight, ecstasy feels so warm, inside
till five hours later i'm...chewin'...screwin' myself with my hands