j3nn

Well let me just start this entry by saying that dating SUCKS ASS!!!! I spent a little over a month seeing this guy and getting along GREAT!!! It seemed things were progressing really well! At least until Friday when I got the 'it's not you it's me' email. (yes that's right I said email) The email system has really made it so easy for people to take something that is personal and maybe difficult to do and just write a quick letter so they don't have to see the face of the person or the voice on the other side. Personally I think it is a cop-out but hmmm that could be just me. Anyways his reasoning was good! really good in fact - and it is true it isn't me. but it didn't make it hurt any less. (I'm not mad at him though... I can't be because he did what was best. So many of us start dating just because we want company and dont want to be alone but maybe arent ready to really get into anything serious Well when you do that there is always the issue of it actually becoming serious and then what do you do? Mentally you are not ready for a healthy relationship and you really dont want to repeat past relationships so instead of moving forward into something that could be good except you will most definitely screw up you back out graciously and say Im sorry I am just not ready for where we are going. And you hope the person on the other side of the email doesnt tell you to fuck off and die but instead says that they understand and wish you the best of luck down the road in their attempt to soul search.)
So now I am back out there again in search of Mr. Wonderfully right. I must say that one thing I got out of dating this man was he got me to think about and answer the famous 'what do you want' & what are you looking for' questions. Really it is a good feeling to be able to answer those questions and really be feeling them from the heart when doing so. So I thank him for that. And just having the reminder that someone could care about me and want me and want to hear what I have to say. It was a nice little reminder for a few weeks. So here I was looking forward to my son being out of town because I was hoping to get to spend more time getting to know this man now I have an entire week w/out my son and no man to spend quality "get to know you time" with. My son starts school on Tuesday Sept 6th so I will be back to the grindstone with work, homework, dinner @ 6pm bed at 9pm structure structure structure.... so maybe it is good things didn't work out because really I should be focusing on him and not on trying to build some relationship. Maybe I should just stay single until he is 18. I know - I will date during the summer It will be like the movie Greese "summer lovin - had me a blast" too bad I couldnt pull off that hot black little number Sandy wore at the end of the movie. Haha
:::: sigh ::::: well anyways... I think I have probably vented enough. I hope everyone else is doing well! I think I may go to a movie or something..
Just kinda feelin'... BLAH