ivycinder

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

New Look, non-matching set

I have a lot of weird little fears that I've had since I was a child. I don't know what psychological damage has caused these but naturaly I blame my mother. One of them is fear of talking to people i don't know on the phone. I don't like to admit this, but my fear is so bad I continued to pay a 25 a month phone bill for six months on a sim card I was no longer using, just because I was too afraid to ring them up and cancel. I'm afraid of the dark, with isn't really irrational I suppose, as it's what's in the dark not the dark itself. This thing that's lurking in the dark I always imagine to be some kind of corpse, and this is way before zombie fever swept my generation and they became my ultimate fear, and the ultimate adventure at the same time.
I always dream about zombie invasions. I'm always running about trying to save everyone, but naturally they are all too stupid and succome to the hordes.

Wide open spaces is another one. Even in daylight. I think what this and the dark have in common is that something could be watching you that you would not know about, plus there's nowhere to hide and I'm more of an "out smarter" than a "runner awayer". Fantastic language use there.

Recently I've developed a truly irrational fear of abroad. I think back to Japan and how I would love to be there again and explore more and suddenly there's the fear! I know how Tokyo works, I speak more of the language now than then and yet I'm afraid of being there. I was there for nearly a month and walked around alone at times. We got lost walking home at 3am and I wasn't afriad. We had the wrong tickets for the train to the airport on the way home and I cooly lied to this guy who looked like Sean Austin that I coudln't read my ticket and determine my seat so could I sit next to him, and no fear there apart from over possibly missing the plane.

I'm going to New York on April 6th, and I'm suddenly afriad of that. I think it's because I'm worried that the atmosphere is so different. I might be worried about running into some cunts on the street late at night and not being able to laugh my way out of the situation cause said cunt won't understand my humour. Blah.

I'm getting my septum pierced in a few hours. I'm not afraid of that, but I have got the nerves. I can feel adrenalin being secreted into my stomach... blah!!!

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