itzjusme

GOD! I hate my landlord(s). They treat me like I am dirt. Okay...so I pick up their kids in exchange for part of the rent...unless it is summer...now I expect $12 AN HOUR...because the kids don't have school everyday...only until the 11th. They leave me a message like an hour and 45 minutes before the boy gets out of school....which I didn't get because I can't use my phones because not only do I have to turn them off because my ex call me (I KID YOU NOT) over 45 times a day...but because I was taking a shower and getting ready to go pick him up (etc)...so I didn't get the message. I went to his school and it was okay. he told me he was going to the premiere of Harry Potter and I didn't have to take him home...I was like 'ok- have fun" but his parents are so bitter. I understand it is annoying it is hard to get a hold of me. BUT- they get mad at me and I give them 2 days notice...they give me less than 2 hours - I don't get the message and the snub me. i SWEAR...not only that but I am in crappy living conditions....the ceiling is caving in and they made me live with no floor in my bathroom for 4 months. I want to move but I am too poor. FUCK MONEY I SAY. I tried to tell them in the nicest way possible that I need notice...BUT...I understand that this Harry Potter thing was a great Opportunity for him and I understand they didn't know ahead of time- IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT...But they do and leave me rude messages. They are such jerks. I WANT OUT. I WANT OUT. FUCK. I hate being polite to people who clearly don't deserve to eat the corn out of my shit FUCK I'M MAD WOW...it would be bad if they ever saw this....But ya know...maybe they would see how i really feel and that i'm not really a pushover- but i am. GOD...I AM SOSSSSSSSSooooooo mad at the way they treat me...and the longer it goes on...the more miscommunication and bullshit they put me through...I try to be straight up with them...a lot of rich snooty bastards don't like that. Then they lash out and I have to back down in fear of losing my home- DO ALL MY RELATIONSHIPS HAVE TO BE DSYFUNCTIONAL?

Anways- The job e-mailed me again and said..... "Hey Lauren! I didn't want you to think we had forgotten about you! Do
you have another professional reference you can give me or another
number for *******? The offices are closed until August, and we
DEFINATELY don't want to wait until then! I am not sure if ***** from our
office has gotten ahold of you yet, but I will be sure she does in the
next day or two!" I'm worried about that because I worked for 3 years at one job and then only had 2 other jobs...One of which is mentioned above....I hope they still want to hire me...I think you will agree with me when I say this JOB is taking a fucking long time to figure out if they want me...huh?


NONE of my friends seem to want to do anything lately. It sux. I guess a lot of them are all in relationships and NOW i'm not...wow the tables have turned...I've never been the third wheel before ....I want to go out on the town. But alas I cannot. Fuck I'm bored. FUCK. I think I will go out alone tonight....perhaps...would that be weird? I think however one of my girlfriends is planning to do something with me on my birthday next wednesday....dear lord I don't want to be alone on my birthday....ao that will be good for me to feel loved



ugh


edit: (10:12pm) I sure am stuck right now. When I was in the relationship it seemed like everybody wanted to hang out with me and now that I finally broke up with him nobody cares...like somehow I am somehow going to be ok overnight and not going to need anybody. WOW...this makes me realize that i really didn't have any close friends that cared for me. I only had a whole bunch that cared a little. I made a pretty big mistake by being in that relationship. I risked having nobody. I went out to the bar tonight for an hour to see a friend and it was ok...but everybody else is having problems of their own. I have no problem with that. i just feel that right now I could really use some support and i don't get any from the people in my life. (not that I don't love them because i do-I'm not perfect- i'm sure me having so many issues makes it hard for me to be a good friend) anyways- i betcha nobody will really read all this shit......i guess i just need to get it all out. bleh. i'm a basketcase...BUT...it is going better than i had anticipated....