itzjusme

So today I went to get my car serviced...blah blah...boring....

I bought 2 Discordance Axis Discs today!!!!!!!!!! (1&2 Perfect collections)YAYAYAYAYAY!!!

I also finally bought Ani Difranco's RENDER dvd...look forward to seeing it....heard good things......



I think I am doing pretty well with the break up (so far)....but that doesn't mean I don't need loving and support.
GIVE ME SOME LOVE
I have finally come to the realization that I would rather be alone than with someone who hurts me so much. I think I might be okay this time. At least I hope so. I don't feel good about myself...but I feel good enough about myself to know I don't deserve this treatment.....I'd rather be alone than with someone who makes me feel guilty for being me.

I had to come to grips with the fact that...
~I can't work it out if there is nothing to work with....
~If I free myself from the wrong person, all sorts of good things might happen.
~I shouldn't just settle for something that isn't what I really want....
~I may have to be alone for a while before I find out what a really want....
~It may actually be painful, and I will have to deal with that- BUT- the pain of staying will be worse in the longrun.....




Sorry if I sound a bit like Stuart Smalley

update:

DILATE
Ani

"life used to be life-like
now it's more like show biz
i wake up in the night
and i don't know where the bathroom is
and i don't know what town i'm in
or what sky i am under
and i wake up in the darkness and i
don't have the will anymore to wonder
everyone has a skeleton
and a closet to keep it in
and you're mine
every song has a you
a you that the singer sings to
and you're it this time
baby, you're it this time

when i need to wipe my face
i use the back of my hand
and i like to take up space
just because i can
and i use my dress
to wipe up my drink
i care less and less
what people think
and you are so lame
you always disappoint me
it's kinda like our running joke
but it's really not funny
i just want you to live up to
the image of you i create
i see you and i'm so unsatisfied
i see you and i dilate

so i'll walk the plank and i'll jump with a smile
if i'm gonna go down
i'm gonna do it with style
and you won't see me surrender
you won't hear me confess
'cuz you've left me with nothing
but i've worked with less
and i learn every room long enough
to make it to the door
and then i hear it click shut behind me
and every key works differently
i forget every time
and the forgetting defines me
that's what defines me

when i say you sucked my brain out
the english translation
is i am in love with you
and it is no fun
but i don't use words like love
'cuz words like that don't matter
but don't look so offended
you know, you should be flattered
i wake up in the night
in some big hotel bed
my hands grope for the light
my hands grope for my head
the world is my oyster
the road is my home
and i know that i'm better
off alone"