Trying to put good things out into the universe. I mean, I think I am still shedding some layers of gossip, white lies, gluttony, selfishness. But I'm trying earnestly to shake them off. Like an unwanted sweater in warm weather. I don't want to feel like anything is holding me or keeping me from being my best me. Does that make sense?
Still struggling with some ugly thoughts. And anger. Namely, that dried up piece of beef jerky referred to as an ex wife. Hatred towards someone I trusted and loved, who didn't just betray me, but lied to justify their shitty fucking behavior. Anger and hatred are powerful things. They stick to you and eat up your energy. I don't want to own them anymore. While I forgive one, I need to forgive both. It isn't that they deserve it. But forgiveness is more about yourself than the other person. I think it's permission to let go.
There's something else on the horizon, something that has the potential to be great. I'm treading lightly. I am scared of using up all the magic in one blow.
I am hoping everything is falling into place. It's looking that way. And I'm feeling pretty content.
That's all for tonight, I guess. I'm going to eat my shrimp stir fry now.
