mic, this is for you. i told you i'd do it eventually.
i'm playing hookie from work today. it's exhilerating as well as stressfull. i know that i'm screwing over my whole office and i know tht i left a lot of things undone when i left last night. it will all come back to bite me in the ass sooner or later. but, my boss leaves for 2 weeks of vacation tomorrow morning so i wont have to see her for a long time. that is at least a small relief.
in other news i'm becoming increasingly domestic as each day passes. i'm starting to feel like edward norton's character in fight club before his trendy apartment blew up and he met brad pitt. i'm always looking for that next thing i can buy that might make my life more complete. i've spent the past 2 months agonizing over what lamp to buy for my new living room. i still dont have a new lamp. it's just too hard. well, it's too hard and i'm too poor. it's mostly the latter. i've woken up in the middle of the night with design ideas fot my dining room that i'm eventually going to redo. it's almost like i think that if my house is perfect and decorated right then my life is going to be better. how the hell is interior design going to help my life?i know it wont change anything, yet i'm compelled to keep going. mayeb it's that i want something to be proud of. maybe i want my family to approve of my living situation and if my house looks like the Cleaver's house then everything will be ok. i think i need a good smack in the head to knock this shamless consumerism out of my life. null
i'm playing hookie from work today. it's exhilerating as well as stressfull. i know that i'm screwing over my whole office and i know tht i left a lot of things undone when i left last night. it will all come back to bite me in the ass sooner or later. but, my boss leaves for 2 weeks of vacation tomorrow morning so i wont have to see her for a long time. that is at least a small relief.
in other news i'm becoming increasingly domestic as each day passes. i'm starting to feel like edward norton's character in fight club before his trendy apartment blew up and he met brad pitt. i'm always looking for that next thing i can buy that might make my life more complete. i've spent the past 2 months agonizing over what lamp to buy for my new living room. i still dont have a new lamp. it's just too hard. well, it's too hard and i'm too poor. it's mostly the latter. i've woken up in the middle of the night with design ideas fot my dining room that i'm eventually going to redo. it's almost like i think that if my house is perfect and decorated right then my life is going to be better. how the hell is interior design going to help my life?i know it wont change anything, yet i'm compelled to keep going. mayeb it's that i want something to be proud of. maybe i want my family to approve of my living situation and if my house looks like the Cleaver's house then everything will be ok. i think i need a good smack in the head to knock this shamless consumerism out of my life. null
bloodymic:
so........I know its been years but I still cant stop to wonder about you. How you are doin...what you are up to..I know that I made things bad but If it werent for someone to make things worse we would still probably talk..I truly felt like I was one the right path but stupidly felt obligated to see "that" out. I hate that I did but I am so very grateful for the one great thing I did get out of it. I know I made a HUGE mistake by letting you go but I know now that life doesnt necessarily make things easy to give us what we truly need to make things into perspective...I adore my greatest mistake and regret that I even considered "her" due my time. As the years have gone by it has very much proven how worthless she was/is...And how much I blew it with someone who truly (in hind-sight) couldve been perfect for me...Everything that I every wanted in a woman..I hope that things could rekindle between us but I seem to never be able to find you again...Very disappointing but this is how the cookie crumbles and only fate shall say if I will ever get another chance to actually truly get to know you, all over again....I have always considered you the "one that got away". Im sorry.
me
me