Article Headlines You Will Never Read in Womens Magazines.
1. Lose weight the easy way, by using up more calories you intake with regular exercise
2. Eat the things you want with our new diet! As long as you exercise regularly you dont have to deny yourself anything
3. Read about how celebrities are actually all different shapes, just like real women and dont need to be categorized into different shapes on random whims thus confusing our readers
4. Read about Michael Bubles ideal woman inside Its his fianc. Who he loves. And even if it was you, you will literally never have a chance with him unless you are famous anyway.
5. Ghost story shocker! They dont exist. We asked a scientist. Instead of a man from Liverpool feeding off the grief of gullible people
6. Secrets revealed! What your man REALLY wants For you to be happy.
7. Your sex questions answered. Yes its perfectly normal for a man to want to put it up your bum, and you can always say no.
8. This seasons gorgeous handbags we show you whats hot and whats not And they are all out of your price range, we have ones you can afford in the same colour but they look nothing like the expensive ones
9. Celebrity columnist dishes the dirt on her fab lifestyle! (But its really written by someone in the office who is re-interpreting something they read in the daily star gossip column and we have paid the celebrity to use their name.)
10. make yourself feel better by reading about some American woman who has married her brother/son/dad/cat/dog/truck etc. under the veil of it being a serious and understanding piece of journalism.
1. Lose weight the easy way, by using up more calories you intake with regular exercise
2. Eat the things you want with our new diet! As long as you exercise regularly you dont have to deny yourself anything
3. Read about how celebrities are actually all different shapes, just like real women and dont need to be categorized into different shapes on random whims thus confusing our readers
4. Read about Michael Bubles ideal woman inside Its his fianc. Who he loves. And even if it was you, you will literally never have a chance with him unless you are famous anyway.
5. Ghost story shocker! They dont exist. We asked a scientist. Instead of a man from Liverpool feeding off the grief of gullible people
6. Secrets revealed! What your man REALLY wants For you to be happy.
7. Your sex questions answered. Yes its perfectly normal for a man to want to put it up your bum, and you can always say no.
8. This seasons gorgeous handbags we show you whats hot and whats not And they are all out of your price range, we have ones you can afford in the same colour but they look nothing like the expensive ones
9. Celebrity columnist dishes the dirt on her fab lifestyle! (But its really written by someone in the office who is re-interpreting something they read in the daily star gossip column and we have paid the celebrity to use their name.)
10. make yourself feel better by reading about some American woman who has married her brother/son/dad/cat/dog/truck etc. under the veil of it being a serious and understanding piece of journalism.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
kittyvalentine:
Hahahahhahaha... gawd, I've missed your journals. x
mark_plus_beer:
7 is all lies.