Got back from E3 last night, and while it wasnt exactly a blast and it didnt do a whole lot to improve my opinion of video games, I was impressed with the LA experience in general. Sure the place is dirty as hell and ungodly polluted, thats old news, but on the whole I found the people are almost universally polite. Even more so than us Washingtonians. One interesting thing I noticed and that is even as vilified as smokers are in LA, there sure do seem to be a lot of them.
So the first day at the convention was a living hell. For those whove never been, its a total sensory overload. Too many bright lights, too much noise and hoards of conventioneers cramming every square foot of the mile or so of convention floor. Its too much for a first timer (even if youre a video game enthusiast, as highmonkey assured me) and after a while you just become numb. So Id say I unquestionably hated that first day.
The second day was a bit better. We arrived at the convention center at almost nine in the morning on Wednesday and there was already a line of people hundreds deep. Dont these people have jobs I wondered. Then I remembered where I was. I was desensitized to the spectacle by this point so I was able to take it all in without being overwhelmed. One thing I began to notice on that second day was the designations of attendees. First off there were the exhibitors who were displaying their products, then there was us, the media, and lastly (and without a doubt the least) there were the exhibits only people who paid to get in. We came up with a name for the last group: Freeloaders. Theyre basically unwanted, exempt from everything and the only thing they do is get in the way. If you were to visualize the hierarchy as a ladder the exhibitors would naturally be top rung, with the press right beneath them and the freeloaders would be that first rung all the way at the bottom thats kind of loose and you tend to skip to the second or third rung to purposely avoid it. They were our little bitches. Without a doubt, my favorite thing to see was when an exhibitor would kick a freeloader off a console when the press came around. I loved having the clout to give em the boot. What color is your badge? Purple? Sorry, mines orange. Hit the skids, junior. It was even more rewarding because they actually paid to get in. That never once got old.
Anyway, I didnt get much use out of the video games. If E3 is supposed to be indicative of what the coming year is supposed to look like in terms of gaming, then prepare yourselves for the Great Depression. Hell, I didnt even take home any good swag, I threw most of the shit away once I got back to the hotel. I think I saw only four games that were interesting and none of them I couldnt live without. You can look forward to such lowlights as Mortal Kombat chess, Mortal Kombat Tetris, Street Fighter Alpha Charley Bravo pt. 6 version 2.0, a Sims-styled game based on Playboy and I shit you not, three PC games based on the popular television shows E.R., Law & Order and Law & Order: Criminal Intent. The trend that seems to be on the rise is the PC game, and 2004 thru 2005 is the age of the PC.
There werent many celebrities there from what I saw. Vin Diesel was there one of the days. I saw the Insane Clown Posse the first day. Evidently Jenny McCarthy was a celebrity guest at one exhibitors booth. I saw a couple other people I recognized, but more on that later. On Thursday we got a personal sit-down with the co-writer and traceruh, I mean inker of The Punisher comics. But seriously, that cat is as cool as they come. He as much as admitted that The Punisher movie sucked (he was speaking of the most recent one, but really, take your pick). I really liked the beginning and the end. But lets face it, the movie was pretty much crap. Man on Fire was the movie The Punisher should have been, he said.
If irony were made of chocolate: On our way to one of our appointments I had to tell highmonkey, whod gotten distracted with the only salvageable piece of swag we got, Theres no time for fun and games. I knew how odd that statement sounded even as I was saying it.
Funniest quote I've heard all year: "If it weren't for all the actors in this town, who would serve our meals?"
Without a doubt the best time I had all week was the Saitek wine and cheese parties. These were pretty laid back affairs but not, I assure you, at the expense of the spirits. Game Monkeys and Saitek have a rapport that goes back several years which I found amounts to some pretty wild antics when alcohol is factored into the equation. I was initially bummed when Sony fucked up our invitations to their party and only supplied us with one pass, but we hooked up with Mike and co. again and drank into the early morning hours. Late in the night after most of the party had gone home we moved out onto the hotel bars veranda and the remainder of the wine came with us, along with imported French chocolates and Cuban cigars. I got caught up in the moment and over the course of four hours I drained eleven glasses. I suppose it would be fair to say that I got sheee-it faced. Im happy to note that me drunk is virtually indiscernible from me not drunk.
So Friday morning rolled around and I spilled out of bed. I made what was probably the lousiest decision of my life when I decided to go to the convention. The cab ride there was the longest and bumpiest ride Ive ever fucking experienced. We only made it to within a half mile of the convention center when I had to have the cabbie pull over. I got out and hoarked right in the middle of the parking lot. Some guy watching from the Labor Ready came out to instruct me on the fine art of vomiting, because apparently theres a science to it. So he waits until I catch my breath and then he asks me if when Im done puking I can spare a couple of bucks. I pointed at the puddle of vomit on the ground and said Youre lookin at it. He laughed and left me to it.
I only made it to the front steps of the convention center when I looked at my friend and said This is as far as I go. So I parked it right there on the stairs for several hours (which gave me the time I needed to write all this stuff down). I drew a lot of dirty looks sitting there hovering over a trash can with sweat pouring off my face and snot running out of my nose. At one point the Costello Twins passed by but at the time I happened to be blowing my nose into a sheet of notebook paper because I didnt have the common sense to pack fucking Kleenex. Sometimes my luck is so shitty even I have to laugh. I sense a new humbling moment.
So I didnt set foot on the convention floor all day Friday. All I did was sit in the media hospitality lounge all day sleeping it off or listening to nerds wax poetic or argue about which was the best thing theyd seen at the convention. While I was doing that highmonkey was downstairs continuing our appointments, of which one was with the developer of the Playboy Sims game. He got to hang out with Playmates and I got to keep company with the unwashed masses and pray for a quick and merciful death.
So the first day at the convention was a living hell. For those whove never been, its a total sensory overload. Too many bright lights, too much noise and hoards of conventioneers cramming every square foot of the mile or so of convention floor. Its too much for a first timer (even if youre a video game enthusiast, as highmonkey assured me) and after a while you just become numb. So Id say I unquestionably hated that first day.
The second day was a bit better. We arrived at the convention center at almost nine in the morning on Wednesday and there was already a line of people hundreds deep. Dont these people have jobs I wondered. Then I remembered where I was. I was desensitized to the spectacle by this point so I was able to take it all in without being overwhelmed. One thing I began to notice on that second day was the designations of attendees. First off there were the exhibitors who were displaying their products, then there was us, the media, and lastly (and without a doubt the least) there were the exhibits only people who paid to get in. We came up with a name for the last group: Freeloaders. Theyre basically unwanted, exempt from everything and the only thing they do is get in the way. If you were to visualize the hierarchy as a ladder the exhibitors would naturally be top rung, with the press right beneath them and the freeloaders would be that first rung all the way at the bottom thats kind of loose and you tend to skip to the second or third rung to purposely avoid it. They were our little bitches. Without a doubt, my favorite thing to see was when an exhibitor would kick a freeloader off a console when the press came around. I loved having the clout to give em the boot. What color is your badge? Purple? Sorry, mines orange. Hit the skids, junior. It was even more rewarding because they actually paid to get in. That never once got old.
Anyway, I didnt get much use out of the video games. If E3 is supposed to be indicative of what the coming year is supposed to look like in terms of gaming, then prepare yourselves for the Great Depression. Hell, I didnt even take home any good swag, I threw most of the shit away once I got back to the hotel. I think I saw only four games that were interesting and none of them I couldnt live without. You can look forward to such lowlights as Mortal Kombat chess, Mortal Kombat Tetris, Street Fighter Alpha Charley Bravo pt. 6 version 2.0, a Sims-styled game based on Playboy and I shit you not, three PC games based on the popular television shows E.R., Law & Order and Law & Order: Criminal Intent. The trend that seems to be on the rise is the PC game, and 2004 thru 2005 is the age of the PC.
There werent many celebrities there from what I saw. Vin Diesel was there one of the days. I saw the Insane Clown Posse the first day. Evidently Jenny McCarthy was a celebrity guest at one exhibitors booth. I saw a couple other people I recognized, but more on that later. On Thursday we got a personal sit-down with the co-writer and traceruh, I mean inker of The Punisher comics. But seriously, that cat is as cool as they come. He as much as admitted that The Punisher movie sucked (he was speaking of the most recent one, but really, take your pick). I really liked the beginning and the end. But lets face it, the movie was pretty much crap. Man on Fire was the movie The Punisher should have been, he said.
If irony were made of chocolate: On our way to one of our appointments I had to tell highmonkey, whod gotten distracted with the only salvageable piece of swag we got, Theres no time for fun and games. I knew how odd that statement sounded even as I was saying it.
Funniest quote I've heard all year: "If it weren't for all the actors in this town, who would serve our meals?"
Without a doubt the best time I had all week was the Saitek wine and cheese parties. These were pretty laid back affairs but not, I assure you, at the expense of the spirits. Game Monkeys and Saitek have a rapport that goes back several years which I found amounts to some pretty wild antics when alcohol is factored into the equation. I was initially bummed when Sony fucked up our invitations to their party and only supplied us with one pass, but we hooked up with Mike and co. again and drank into the early morning hours. Late in the night after most of the party had gone home we moved out onto the hotel bars veranda and the remainder of the wine came with us, along with imported French chocolates and Cuban cigars. I got caught up in the moment and over the course of four hours I drained eleven glasses. I suppose it would be fair to say that I got sheee-it faced. Im happy to note that me drunk is virtually indiscernible from me not drunk.
So Friday morning rolled around and I spilled out of bed. I made what was probably the lousiest decision of my life when I decided to go to the convention. The cab ride there was the longest and bumpiest ride Ive ever fucking experienced. We only made it to within a half mile of the convention center when I had to have the cabbie pull over. I got out and hoarked right in the middle of the parking lot. Some guy watching from the Labor Ready came out to instruct me on the fine art of vomiting, because apparently theres a science to it. So he waits until I catch my breath and then he asks me if when Im done puking I can spare a couple of bucks. I pointed at the puddle of vomit on the ground and said Youre lookin at it. He laughed and left me to it.
I only made it to the front steps of the convention center when I looked at my friend and said This is as far as I go. So I parked it right there on the stairs for several hours (which gave me the time I needed to write all this stuff down). I drew a lot of dirty looks sitting there hovering over a trash can with sweat pouring off my face and snot running out of my nose. At one point the Costello Twins passed by but at the time I happened to be blowing my nose into a sheet of notebook paper because I didnt have the common sense to pack fucking Kleenex. Sometimes my luck is so shitty even I have to laugh. I sense a new humbling moment.
So I didnt set foot on the convention floor all day Friday. All I did was sit in the media hospitality lounge all day sleeping it off or listening to nerds wax poetic or argue about which was the best thing theyd seen at the convention. While I was doing that highmonkey was downstairs continuing our appointments, of which one was with the developer of the Playboy Sims game. He got to hang out with Playmates and I got to keep company with the unwashed masses and pray for a quick and merciful death.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
vikprez:
It's not just the permits, it is just so cheaper to do everything in Canada, so they go to Vancouver instead of Seattle
samling:
woo, then good thing i put that pic up!! lol