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It's been almost a week since my last journal entry and so much, yet so little, has happened in that time. I've figuratively aged 3 years in just seven days time. I know it's a waste of time to write these lengthy journal entries because nobody reads them anyway and let's face it folks, what we put in our journals is more for our ego then for anyone who may be reading it. If it's all the same to you, I'm going to vent my soul anyway.

Yesterday at the grocery store some guy tried to "tap" me with his car. As he sat virtually parked in the middle of the lane, I waited for him to make up his mind. I felt satisfied that I'd given him a reasonable amount of time, and at least had made him aware of my presence and intent. So I begin to cross in front of his car and he starts to go. Now I'm pissed, so I yell something like "Make up your fuckin' mind already!" and continue to cross. When I get to about his front left headlight the motherfucker puts pedal to the metal. I looked that sack of shit right in the face and flipped him off, accompanied by a few choice words (some of which I made up on the spot). The folks watching from Starbucks got quite a show. I'm thankful that this was the one time I haven't seen the cops hanging out there.

Now, not to sound like a complete psycho, but it was an exhilirating experience and dare I say it...almost fun. Normally I'll avoid confrontation like an Asian with a persistent cough (dated joke). I'm fiercely loyal to my friends and will stand up for them when the occasion demands it, but as for myself, I will absorb all the abuse you can dish out. I think this may be because that was the chain of command at every job I've worked, take it with a smile and refer it on up the chain. Only with my personal life, there IS no next link in the chain.

So poprocks and I are having this discussion at karaoke last week and he’s telling me that women dig a sense of mystery. I understand that life experiences differ greatly from one individual to another and, to quote Diff’rent Strokes, “What might be right for one/May not right for some”. Now, I’d like to believe him, but in my experience I’ve seen nothing that bears this out. I’m not a people person, and to make matters worse, though I may come off sounding all witty and cerebral like Benjamin Franklin on here(I’m aware it’s a lofty comparison, just indulge me for a second, it gets funny at the end), when you get me in person I sound a lot more like Benny Stulwicz, the retarded file clerk on LA Law!

Women like mystery only when it’s backed by substance, and that last part is my biggest stumbling block.

Much to my dismay, it seems that my roommate/brother has been in contact with a member of this site. Apparently, this person knows me (which is maddening, since I don’t know who in the blue hell it is!) and has piqued my brother’s interest in Suicide Girls. He’s been perspicuously probing me for information a lot lately. I’ve tried to downplay SG as much as possible and actively avoiding anything that might even act as a segue to it. The reason for my dismay is that this particular brother has the cunning knack for embarrassing and annoying the shit out of me in public with his limitless and scintillating (did that come across as sarcasm? Good) insights on the fairer sex. I can’t take him anywhere ‘cause he’s a total bird-dog. He’ll shoot his mouth off anywhere, anytime regardless of the fact that the subject of his observation may actually still be within earshot. Going to the mall is like a spectator sport to him. He tends to favor "Britneys" so he isn't very familiar with the type of women featured here. I can just see him running afoul of someone and sinking to the proverbial bottom with me handcuffed to his fucking wrist.

Besides, I’ve sustained about all the friends and family that I can tolerate on this site. I’ve brought into the loop the only two people I think I can trust, that being highmonkey and ThFightingwords. Even at that, I find that I censor myself. While it’s one thing to open your heart to a bunch of people who you don’t really know and will never meet face-to-face, it’s entirely another to be that honest right in front of your friends and family.

I started up a live journal. Do you know there's a group there dedicated to being anti-SG? I tried to join so I could play devil's advocate but it had been shut down. Damn.

Lately, I’m barely able to conceal my contempt for the people I work with. I’ve been inundated with the most inane questions that even a person with the barest modicum of common sense could figure out on their own. Is it just me or has self-sufficiency become an outmoded concept, a thing of the past? “Seriously, do I have to wipe your ass, do you need me to hold the hankey to your nose while you blow?” And if I ever meet the person who combines this with ingratitude I’m going to fuck ‘em straight in the ass. I don’t care if it compromises my own sexuality, it’ll be worth it just to see the look of abject humiliation on their face when I’m done.

Apart from all that, I’ve actually been in a pretty foul mood this week. LOL

Stealing a page now from Posh's book:

Current mood: Monumentally pissed off
Current song: Down on the World Again

Well, I think that should cover me for a few weeks.

PS. You gotta check this shit out!