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So the time has come for me to move again and though I really enjoyed living on my own - there's just a certain solace in coming home from work to a completely quiet apartment (though with my wonky plumbing it was almost never "completely silent") - but I kind of want to try my hand renting a house or townhome. So invariably I'm looking at needing a roommate. I thought just for shits and giggles I should come up with my ideal roommate, since it seems all my friends at this time in their lives have pretty stable habitation.

You

-Not a total doucher (you'd think this goes without saying but I had to post it first so apparently it's not a foregone conclusion for some people)

-Keep the noise after hours to a minimum (I have two things that will drive me to a homicidal rage and that's keeping me awake or waking me up once I'm asleep. I am courteous to a fault when it comes to this because I know how it sets me off)

-Clean up after yourself (look, I lived with at separate times a guy who would clip his toenails in the bathroom sink and another who kept the trashcan in the livingroom so he wouldn't have to get up from playing video games to throw away his leftovers. We're done with that.)

Okay now that all the serious stuff is out of the way here's the warm, fuzzy shit....

-I'm a writer - well, struggling one anyway - and it would be great to find another writer or artist who could inspire me and keep me on task and vice versa (I'm a perfectionist and procrastinator in the same package and if left to my own devices I will find flimsy justifications to stop what I'm doing and just watch reruns of The Rockford Files)

-I would be nice to have a roommate to sit down to dinners with once or more a week (I've done that whole isolationist thing with all my past roommates and, maybe I'm getting older, but I'm craving more in the way of companionship these days)

-In addition to the above I have a RI-DIC-U-LOUS movie collection - 1200 DVDs and counting - and it'd be cool to have movie nights with someone (I tried to do this with one of my past roommates but he was far too into Transformers and Buffy the Vampire Slayer for my liking)

-You must observe the Holy Trinity - Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas - because I throw myself into all three with equal aplomb (this means a Christmas tree in December and tombstones in the yard and spiderwebs cocooning the porch in October. I don't really decorate for Thanksgiving, but you know, expect there to be loads of typical Thanksgiving fare so be forewarned if you're vegan)

Me

-In addition to the above I am an omnivore, middle-left leaning (politically, you dirty bird!) horror nerd with all his shots who's certifiably television addicted. I keep pretty average hours during the week and have weekends off. I pay my shit on time (and so should you) and I'm an avowed laundry wizard.

So that's that. What do you think, should I circulate that shit? Too exacting, demanding? Would you live with me?

In totally unrelated news Halloween is just around the bend and one of my favorite things is turning on Turner Classics and watching film historian Robert Osborne intellectualize movies like The Zombies of Mora Tau, Equinox and The Giant Gila Monster (all of which I own). I can't wait to start carving the shit out of some pumpkins or to hear the knocks of many trick or treaters at the door. Also to revive a long-standing tradition I have with Rydell of sending one another Halloween care packages.

Well that's all I got for now. Considering that I started with no idea of where it would go I'd say I didn't do half bad. I'll make sure I check back in between now and Oct. 31st and - for my tens of readers - bust out some of my favorite Halloween memories. I'm feeling particularly nostalgic of late. Perhaps I'm dying?

Best regards,
Matt