"For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled."
Hunter S. Thompson
there's a yearning. gnawing at my rib. my heart starts to ache when i think about it.and there's nothing i can do.
just a glance in your eyes. i melt. i long to reach out and feel your skin...
my heart clings to my sleeve whenever you're around... and hides back in the shadows of it's hollow cage when you're face isnt such a vivid memory in my head.
and my breath quickens when i write this... for fear someone may know the sins my heart desires. and i fill with fear.... for i've never had a feeling such as this. there have been desires...lusts... similar to the sensations i have around you....nothing this strong... and i know it's just my luck.
my attempts at the market are flawed. i sabatoge every asset that comes my way. they'll never be you. i dont even know who you are. our voices meet in chatter... electricity... and i feel like a child again. it's suddenly christmas morning and i've recieved every gift i want...and everyone is pleased with me. everyone is happy. no broken hearts no stubborn tears.
but i'm not a child anymore. i'm a grown woman. i've felt heartbreak. i've felt pain. and i've felt confusion. and i know this is lust. i can not love something i hardly know...can i? i dont want to be the enemy. i dont want to be that girl. i dont want to be left behind or have someone left behind for me. the cycle will just repeat itself.
and even the fireworks n the background of my dirty neighbourhood don't startle me or shake me from this phase. He haunts my sleep, as i wander through my maze of traumas. And when we meet in that dream land....everything is clear. beautiful. crisp.
take this away. take away these feelings. they pain me more than i feel the pleasure. when your leg barely touches mine...when we sit on that bench.. i never want to move. i want to hold you at night. i want you to tell me all your secrets. tell me about your youth. tell me your fears. and adventures. enlighten me on the paths and what its like behind your eyes. i want you to hold me. touch me. and give me back all my breathes that disappear when you walk into a room.
i dont want to destroy anything. i fear i may have done that too many times already in my life. and my heart can't dare handle hurting another woman. my hurt runs deep. engraved in my soul the choices i've made..unknowingly injuring those around me. i've been informed...thru innocent talk... and i keep my distance. i dont wan to damage anything. i'm damaged enough myself. i'm not ready for a man. not ready to start again. my heart has been in pieces for too long.... and it frightens me more that they all hold together for you...on my sleeve...waiting for you to hold it.
no amount of tears streaming down my face will make the world work the way i want it to. nor do i really want that much power. its peculiar enough the way things have turned out. this too shall pass. and i'll wait tortuously while it does. possiblity's are endless .... nothing is certain. knowledge isn't certain. ... and i lust for you. long for you... and i know nothing can come of it. not now. not today... not this month. nor would i let it...
it takes every ounce of morale i have to not grab the back of your neck, push you against the wall..pressing my lips upon you...and having my way with you....
many years from now if it's meant to be..our pathes will cross again. linking walkways thru some mutual friend who never knew we existed in similar worlds. and i won't ask anything for happiness in this regard. i'll try to not sit in my pity. i'll avoid these feelings...and say they're not real. yet i know..when i look at your eyes...and you look at mine.. we both know what the other is thinking...
and that...is very dangerous grounds.
xo
Hunter S. Thompson
there's a yearning. gnawing at my rib. my heart starts to ache when i think about it.and there's nothing i can do.
just a glance in your eyes. i melt. i long to reach out and feel your skin...
my heart clings to my sleeve whenever you're around... and hides back in the shadows of it's hollow cage when you're face isnt such a vivid memory in my head.
and my breath quickens when i write this... for fear someone may know the sins my heart desires. and i fill with fear.... for i've never had a feeling such as this. there have been desires...lusts... similar to the sensations i have around you....nothing this strong... and i know it's just my luck.
my attempts at the market are flawed. i sabatoge every asset that comes my way. they'll never be you. i dont even know who you are. our voices meet in chatter... electricity... and i feel like a child again. it's suddenly christmas morning and i've recieved every gift i want...and everyone is pleased with me. everyone is happy. no broken hearts no stubborn tears.
but i'm not a child anymore. i'm a grown woman. i've felt heartbreak. i've felt pain. and i've felt confusion. and i know this is lust. i can not love something i hardly know...can i? i dont want to be the enemy. i dont want to be that girl. i dont want to be left behind or have someone left behind for me. the cycle will just repeat itself.
and even the fireworks n the background of my dirty neighbourhood don't startle me or shake me from this phase. He haunts my sleep, as i wander through my maze of traumas. And when we meet in that dream land....everything is clear. beautiful. crisp.
take this away. take away these feelings. they pain me more than i feel the pleasure. when your leg barely touches mine...when we sit on that bench.. i never want to move. i want to hold you at night. i want you to tell me all your secrets. tell me about your youth. tell me your fears. and adventures. enlighten me on the paths and what its like behind your eyes. i want you to hold me. touch me. and give me back all my breathes that disappear when you walk into a room.
i dont want to destroy anything. i fear i may have done that too many times already in my life. and my heart can't dare handle hurting another woman. my hurt runs deep. engraved in my soul the choices i've made..unknowingly injuring those around me. i've been informed...thru innocent talk... and i keep my distance. i dont wan to damage anything. i'm damaged enough myself. i'm not ready for a man. not ready to start again. my heart has been in pieces for too long.... and it frightens me more that they all hold together for you...on my sleeve...waiting for you to hold it.
no amount of tears streaming down my face will make the world work the way i want it to. nor do i really want that much power. its peculiar enough the way things have turned out. this too shall pass. and i'll wait tortuously while it does. possiblity's are endless .... nothing is certain. knowledge isn't certain. ... and i lust for you. long for you... and i know nothing can come of it. not now. not today... not this month. nor would i let it...
it takes every ounce of morale i have to not grab the back of your neck, push you against the wall..pressing my lips upon you...and having my way with you....
many years from now if it's meant to be..our pathes will cross again. linking walkways thru some mutual friend who never knew we existed in similar worlds. and i won't ask anything for happiness in this regard. i'll try to not sit in my pity. i'll avoid these feelings...and say they're not real. yet i know..when i look at your eyes...and you look at mine.. we both know what the other is thinking...
and that...is very dangerous grounds.
xo
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
Still, I try not to think of it.
Now, what non depressing reason did I have for commenting here? Oh yeah, I'm officially encouraging you to come out for dinner and wii.