isis_rising

I heard something terrible on the radio the other day that made me wonder if the planet really is doomed.
No, I wasn't listening to NPR, and it wasn't about Iraq, or even North Korea.
It was the latest Black Eyed Peas single, "My Humps".
You see, my cd player acts up whenever it's hot, so I end up constantly scanning the radio for something decent, and more often than not I land on utter shite. Sometimes I listen, because I believe in knowing my enemy, so if I'm going to hate on certain pop music I want to know what I'm hating on- but this is too much.
I hear some simpering female voice saying repeatedly, "My hump. My hump. My lovely lady lumps..." What sort of unholy dogshit IS this!?
At first I listen in, horrified but intrigued. It only gets worse. If you want to know what sort of tripe the song is, check it out: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/blackeyedpeas/myhumps.html
As though the lyrics weren't bad enough, the most disturbing part about this song is the trite, matter of fact, super happy, sing-song voice Fergie uses to deliver the lines. She sounds like she's auditioning for a toothpaste commercial: "It's great! It's great! It's really really great!"

The Black Eyed Peas sure have come a long way from socially conscious rap. "Get you love drunk off my hump"... wow. Fucking lyrical genius. On their 1998 album, "Behind the Front" (bwaaahahaaa), a particularly notable track is one called "Karma" :
"Remember that "What goes around, comes around"
God is watching you and evrything that you do
Do you remember everything that you did before
The way the bad action opens cosmic door
I'ma leave it up to God what he got for you
I'ma leave it up to Him what he got for me
And he's watching you"

Word, Black Eyed Peas. Try practicing what you preach. I hope all the little junior high girls that listen to your shit because they want to be like Fergie and get their minds all twisted over her bragging that dudes buy her shit because her ass is nice and they like her "lady lumps" and they all grow up to be gold-digging strippers, and that God sees it and strikes you down.

OOH! And check this one out: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/blackeyedpeas/bringingitback.html :
"I know I'm not the only one that's filling the void
Creatively hip-hop is being destroyed
A lot of rappers really need to be unemployed
because the topics that them talk about has got me annoyed
You see I heard it all before, there's no need to repeat it
The forms I vacated, might as well delete it
Put your program in and open a new file
You shoulda took your record advance and bought a style
We the only crew that came original
while a lot of other brothers just mimic the pile
The pile that's only designed for pop charts
that contradicts thought, that's the reason we brought
it back cause honestly it lacks
talent and creativity, in fact"

Sweet Jesus. I just figured it out: Fergie's people have forced the other Peas into a hostile takeover, and they've been taken creative hostage, only allowed to write songs about her! That one is from the year 2000, they can't have become completely different people in just 5 short years, can they?

I swear to god, if this is passing for music we can write the entire planet off right now. Might as well just get it over with and start running my car 24/7 and using nothing but aerosol cans with CFC's for everything.
With how pissed about the state of popular music I am, it's no wonder the bartender at my work joined the army over his hatred of the disco era. He's a hippie, and sure didn't join up to kill people. He said that there just didn't seem to be a place for an old rocker anymore, and just happened to wander by a recruitement office one day.
"Hmm... let's see... what rhymes with hump? Bump? Jump? Rump?"
Makes me want to shoot myself in the head.