Ya know, I've been laid off since last November, and people keep talking about how they're so bored and just want to go back to work and make some money. They keep assuming I agree with their sentiments.
I do not. At all.
I don't want to go back, I hate that place. I would stay laid off forever if I could get away with it. Suppose now I had best kick my own ass into gear and follow through with my plan to quit this fall and go back to school.
Can I help it if I'm terrified? Both of losing the safety net this job is (as much as I hate the job it IS a good one, awesome benefits and all) and of the over bearing ex that will go on an absolute rampage once she realizes I've given up said benefits (since my insurance is so much more kick ass coverage for our son). But god, I'm so unhappy, I can't keep doing this, I have to try and find something, anything, that makes me happy again.
And doing it all alone of course. Surrounded by people and I pretty much never stop feeling completely alone.
Well, lets make these last couple of weeks memorable I guess. And see if maybe, somewhere, I can find some of that courage I so desperately need.
-JC
I do not. At all.
I don't want to go back, I hate that place. I would stay laid off forever if I could get away with it. Suppose now I had best kick my own ass into gear and follow through with my plan to quit this fall and go back to school.
Can I help it if I'm terrified? Both of losing the safety net this job is (as much as I hate the job it IS a good one, awesome benefits and all) and of the over bearing ex that will go on an absolute rampage once she realizes I've given up said benefits (since my insurance is so much more kick ass coverage for our son). But god, I'm so unhappy, I can't keep doing this, I have to try and find something, anything, that makes me happy again.
And doing it all alone of course. Surrounded by people and I pretty much never stop feeling completely alone.
Well, lets make these last couple of weeks memorable I guess. And see if maybe, somewhere, I can find some of that courage I so desperately need.
-JC
nobodyhere:
Yeah, it does seem especially hard these days to break free from the everyday crap that we call work. Have so often thought of going out in a blaze of glory, having let my true feelings out into the open but then i remember i'll lose a decent pension etc, etc. Sometimes it sucks being an adult. As much as i hate to say it or to hear it, sometimes we have to be patient for the opportunities we want.
soulsetfire:
I'll give you my courage. I have some, not much and it's that weird twisted courage I get, but it's totally yours. And I promise that if I could find a way to balefire the bad for you, I would in a heartbeat. <3