Darlings,
I'm finally back in the nations capital after a long weekend in Charleston, SC. Or as the locals call it,
"the holy city" or "the lowcountry". If you've never been to the area I highly recommend it but stay away during the summer months because the humidity is balls to the wall. Charleston is a cool college town with a lot of charm. The city recently made the top 10 list for "friendliest cities in america" in a Travel magazine I was recently thumbing through at my dentist office. Unlike DC, the traffic isn't as bad (absolutely no honking), people smile in public, when you hold the door open for a stranger, 9 times out of 10 they say thank you!! The nightlife is really good and it's easy to make friends. You have the usual college frat crowd and a mix of goths, skaters, indie rockers, punks, suicide looking girls and rocker types.
My gig on New Years Eve was excellent. Cumberlands is usually packed on the weekends with drinkers and rockers. This night it was packed to the gills. My band consists of members of other Charleston bands. Kinda like a local supergroup. It's a side project that has ended up being more popular than most of the guys "real bands". We're called Iron Cherry and we play glam rock or as I like to call it cock-rock. We're working on an album but we break up our show with songs like: Welcome To The Jungle (Guns N Roses), Talk Dirty To Me (Poison) and Youth Gone Wild (Skid Row) to name a few. We wear makeup and dress up like Motley Crue and Poison. Everyone in the band has his own stage name. Something ROCK N ROLL and HOLLYWOOD sounding because you gotta have the cool name. I'm Lazy Von Krazy (guitar leads and dirty deeds). The rest of the band sounds like this: Nikki Testeroni, Tommi Teaser, Rusty Razor and Sly Sammy Spider. Usually 80% of the audience is dressed up and this night Lip Service Spandex reigned king. We were constantly bringing girls onstage to dance throughout the night which added to the heavy metal theatre. We played right up until 2am so the usual meet n greet didn't happen. In Charleston all bars and clubs must have everyone out by the 2am curfew or they can get huge fines. That's what you call the bible belt! By the end of the show we were all pretty hammered (especially ME) so we decided to leave our equipment at the club and pick it up the next day. We got our money, split it up, wished each other a happy new year and went our seperate ways. There was still a hoard of people on the street in front of the club so instead of leaving through the loading dock around back I had one of the bouncers let me out the front door. Outside was the usual scene. Promoters and band guys handing out flyers for their shows. A pack of girls all slinky, standing in a circle dressed in revealing fuck me outfits, chewing gum and smoking 18-inch cigarettes with gloss dripping off their lips, they looked like lionesses. Across the street was a bearded guy with a flannel button up vomiting in his car. And let's not forget the stumbling redneck who was drunk beyond repair with the Nascar cap, mustache, stonewashed jeans, wife beater and budweiser in hand who never left until he annoyed every girl and convined the crowd he can "play a mean GITAR". It was late and I had enough of making the scene. I said goodbye to my friends, thanked the people I didn't know for coming to the show and started making my way to the car. I got about 20 feet away and heard someone call out, "hey kevin, wait up". I turned and looked back and one of the vixens had broken off from the pack of felines and was walking towards me. I didn't know her name but she knew mine
. She was attractive, black hair, gray eyes, pale complexion with a red corset, black mini skirt, fishnets and big blocky frankenstein boots. She said her friends were going to get breakfast but she had an early morning with family and asked if I could walk her to her car. We walked a couple of blocks until she found her car. She thanked me for the walk, said the band sounded great and that she liked my "hush-puppy eyes".
We exchanged numbers and decided we should hang out sometime. I told her I was from out of town and was leaving in a couple of days. She wished me a happy new year and gave me a fantastic kiss with her reptilian devil tongue.
The next morning was the morning of my discontent. I was hungover. Hangovers are God's way of letting you know that you are not Superman. There was a name for my pain, and it was called Wineover. In addition to drinking beers, mixed drinks, champagne and various shots on New Years Eve, I drank a ton of WINE. Anyone can have a hangover but a wineover is real suffering. Ordinarily, I'm OK with wine. Like a lion tamer I tease with the whip and then dance lightly out of harms way. But this moring I was officially fucked. Compared to a hangover, a wineover is akin to something biblical. God's terrible trumpet or a rain of locusts. Whatever is locked inside the insidious little grape LEAPS OUT and renders you immobile, leaving you looking up at the ceiling, drooling like a dog. Laying there while your head pounds like the guy in the Scanners movie. Your body all wiggly and clammy, like a melted piece of string cheese, all day long, paralyzed like Christopher Reeve and nothing you can do about it. I can dance a little with the devil, but not too close.
It was a good trip. The band rocked and I hung out with new people who were cool and fun. I spent a lot of time with my parents who are AWESOME. I watched football with my dad and helped my mom in the yard. My parents have always been very supportive even though they probably wish I had a corporate "normal" job. I'm currently happy with my job in DC. It pays great and I enjoy who I work with which is really important. I can also roll out of bed at the last minute and throw on sweat pants and it's NO BIG DEAL what I wear on the job. Har Har Har
The morning I was scheduled to fly back to DC..... I got a call from USAIR. My 11:30am flight was cancelled and they had me rescheduled on another flight later that afternoon. It was cool because I was able to get a couple more hours of sleep because I had a late a night. Of course I still overslept and had to make a mad dash to the airport. My debit card wouldn't work in the kiosk so I had to stand in line at the ticket counter for my boarding pass. Then the security line was backed up with 20 people waiting to go through so I had to put up with the stress of hearing over the intercom that my plane was NOW BOARDING. Yikes!! Once I finally got through security I grabbed my laptop, threw it in my suitase and ran through the terminal with my shoes in hand in search of my gate. Right when they were about to close the door I slipped through and found my seat which had been changed from window to middle row in between two nuns dressed in their Darth Vader costumes. They looked at me like I had leprosy. The flight wasn't bad even though it's hard to get comfy wedged in the middle like that. The nun who had the window seat looked out the window the whole time and prayed on her rosery. The other one on the aisle slept but woke up every 30 seconds to clear her throat. I realized when I finally got home that I forgot to wash off the runny eyeliner I had on the night before so I could see why everyone was staring so bad.
take it sleazy my dolls....love....kevin
I'm finally back in the nations capital after a long weekend in Charleston, SC. Or as the locals call it,
"the holy city" or "the lowcountry". If you've never been to the area I highly recommend it but stay away during the summer months because the humidity is balls to the wall. Charleston is a cool college town with a lot of charm. The city recently made the top 10 list for "friendliest cities in america" in a Travel magazine I was recently thumbing through at my dentist office. Unlike DC, the traffic isn't as bad (absolutely no honking), people smile in public, when you hold the door open for a stranger, 9 times out of 10 they say thank you!! The nightlife is really good and it's easy to make friends. You have the usual college frat crowd and a mix of goths, skaters, indie rockers, punks, suicide looking girls and rocker types.
My gig on New Years Eve was excellent. Cumberlands is usually packed on the weekends with drinkers and rockers. This night it was packed to the gills. My band consists of members of other Charleston bands. Kinda like a local supergroup. It's a side project that has ended up being more popular than most of the guys "real bands". We're called Iron Cherry and we play glam rock or as I like to call it cock-rock. We're working on an album but we break up our show with songs like: Welcome To The Jungle (Guns N Roses), Talk Dirty To Me (Poison) and Youth Gone Wild (Skid Row) to name a few. We wear makeup and dress up like Motley Crue and Poison. Everyone in the band has his own stage name. Something ROCK N ROLL and HOLLYWOOD sounding because you gotta have the cool name. I'm Lazy Von Krazy (guitar leads and dirty deeds). The rest of the band sounds like this: Nikki Testeroni, Tommi Teaser, Rusty Razor and Sly Sammy Spider. Usually 80% of the audience is dressed up and this night Lip Service Spandex reigned king. We were constantly bringing girls onstage to dance throughout the night which added to the heavy metal theatre. We played right up until 2am so the usual meet n greet didn't happen. In Charleston all bars and clubs must have everyone out by the 2am curfew or they can get huge fines. That's what you call the bible belt! By the end of the show we were all pretty hammered (especially ME) so we decided to leave our equipment at the club and pick it up the next day. We got our money, split it up, wished each other a happy new year and went our seperate ways. There was still a hoard of people on the street in front of the club so instead of leaving through the loading dock around back I had one of the bouncers let me out the front door. Outside was the usual scene. Promoters and band guys handing out flyers for their shows. A pack of girls all slinky, standing in a circle dressed in revealing fuck me outfits, chewing gum and smoking 18-inch cigarettes with gloss dripping off their lips, they looked like lionesses. Across the street was a bearded guy with a flannel button up vomiting in his car. And let's not forget the stumbling redneck who was drunk beyond repair with the Nascar cap, mustache, stonewashed jeans, wife beater and budweiser in hand who never left until he annoyed every girl and convined the crowd he can "play a mean GITAR". It was late and I had enough of making the scene. I said goodbye to my friends, thanked the people I didn't know for coming to the show and started making my way to the car. I got about 20 feet away and heard someone call out, "hey kevin, wait up". I turned and looked back and one of the vixens had broken off from the pack of felines and was walking towards me. I didn't know her name but she knew mine
. She was attractive, black hair, gray eyes, pale complexion with a red corset, black mini skirt, fishnets and big blocky frankenstein boots. She said her friends were going to get breakfast but she had an early morning with family and asked if I could walk her to her car. We walked a couple of blocks until she found her car. She thanked me for the walk, said the band sounded great and that she liked my "hush-puppy eyes".
We exchanged numbers and decided we should hang out sometime. I told her I was from out of town and was leaving in a couple of days. She wished me a happy new year and gave me a fantastic kiss with her reptilian devil tongue.
The next morning was the morning of my discontent. I was hungover. Hangovers are God's way of letting you know that you are not Superman. There was a name for my pain, and it was called Wineover. In addition to drinking beers, mixed drinks, champagne and various shots on New Years Eve, I drank a ton of WINE. Anyone can have a hangover but a wineover is real suffering. Ordinarily, I'm OK with wine. Like a lion tamer I tease with the whip and then dance lightly out of harms way. But this moring I was officially fucked. Compared to a hangover, a wineover is akin to something biblical. God's terrible trumpet or a rain of locusts. Whatever is locked inside the insidious little grape LEAPS OUT and renders you immobile, leaving you looking up at the ceiling, drooling like a dog. Laying there while your head pounds like the guy in the Scanners movie. Your body all wiggly and clammy, like a melted piece of string cheese, all day long, paralyzed like Christopher Reeve and nothing you can do about it. I can dance a little with the devil, but not too close.
It was a good trip. The band rocked and I hung out with new people who were cool and fun. I spent a lot of time with my parents who are AWESOME. I watched football with my dad and helped my mom in the yard. My parents have always been very supportive even though they probably wish I had a corporate "normal" job. I'm currently happy with my job in DC. It pays great and I enjoy who I work with which is really important. I can also roll out of bed at the last minute and throw on sweat pants and it's NO BIG DEAL what I wear on the job. Har Har Har
The morning I was scheduled to fly back to DC..... I got a call from USAIR. My 11:30am flight was cancelled and they had me rescheduled on another flight later that afternoon. It was cool because I was able to get a couple more hours of sleep because I had a late a night. Of course I still overslept and had to make a mad dash to the airport. My debit card wouldn't work in the kiosk so I had to stand in line at the ticket counter for my boarding pass. Then the security line was backed up with 20 people waiting to go through so I had to put up with the stress of hearing over the intercom that my plane was NOW BOARDING. Yikes!! Once I finally got through security I grabbed my laptop, threw it in my suitase and ran through the terminal with my shoes in hand in search of my gate. Right when they were about to close the door I slipped through and found my seat which had been changed from window to middle row in between two nuns dressed in their Darth Vader costumes. They looked at me like I had leprosy. The flight wasn't bad even though it's hard to get comfy wedged in the middle like that. The nun who had the window seat looked out the window the whole time and prayed on her rosery. The other one on the aisle slept but woke up every 30 seconds to clear her throat. I realized when I finally got home that I forgot to wash off the runny eyeliner I had on the night before so I could see why everyone was staring so bad.
take it sleazy my dolls....love....kevin
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
rosanne:
I hate cars honking. On eof my biggist pet-peeves. Funny about the Nuns. They do kind of look like they are dressed as Darth Vader; my aunt is a Nun. Really. Very yugoslavian/Itailian roman catholic family. It alsways cracked me up to see her in her habit and all. She no longer has to wear it ona daily basis. Only when she visits the other sisters at her convent, and I think when she goes to mass. They are funny looking. 
megamisama:
wow sounds like you had a pretty good time! your band sounds awsome, and like you'd be alot of fun to see. and your writing is marvelous.