I have always struggled with anxiety and a bit of depression. The winter months are the hardest as it's cold out and I can't go for walks.
But Today was especially bad. I didnt want to leave the house cause I wasnt up for it. But when u have a job u got to. Ppl felt like more of a headache cause my anxiety was running on high. Everyone thinks I'm nuts cause I love my cats but Skittles spent most of the morning and now my evening demanding attention to pull my brain away from the self doubt..feeling inadequate and just hating myself.
My doc says it's high functioning anxiety/depression because of how well I manage stress at work and in personal life. I fight very hard not to be in meds cause when I am I can't get myself out of the fog they put my brain in and things dont seem real.
It might be why I drink so much wine in the evening.
But back to Skittles...she walked her happy butt up to the tub and jumped on the side demanding I pet her. Its like she knew I wasnt right today and needed her. I can only smile as she gently smacks at me or head butts me for attention. She barely left me while I was home and greeted me as soon as I walked in the door.
Try to keep away from post like this. But It's not always sunshine and flowers. If you have a day like this when everything is trying to make you crack and crumble. Dont give up, fight it. It's going to be hard to pull yourself out of it. And there are going to be days like today when it mostly wins. It's the little things that keep you going like a cats purr. I know lame...but she made me smile and it helped. Also..know you aren't alone.
