Sorry for that depressing and mopey entry the other day. I was not having a very good day, and just needed to feel sorry for myself for a bit.
School really kicks my ass, which gets to me sometimes, because I know that I have it in me to do extremely well, and yet I don't put the effort into it like I should. I feel like I'm letting down my parents, and that kills me. I lost my scholarship last semester because of my gpa not meeting the requirement. I was put into a probationary period, and if I get my gpa back up this semester I will get my scholarship back. The way things arethat won't going happen
It's tough when you see the plan you had for yourself slipping away and your goals start to seem unreachable.
In that last entry I mentioned that on Tuesday I was feeling really great for a while, and that was because I had just taken a calculus test and I felt like I did really well on it. I actually studied at the library two nights in a row, and it paid off. Or at least I think it did, I'll get my test back on Monday. Getting a high grade on that test will really help me get into the swing of studying for things hopefully.
Another thing that was bothering was that I intentionally lied in order to get an extension on an assignment. Afterwards I felt like such a loser. I don't know why I did it, maybe because I knew it would work. It made me feel terrible. I don't know how people can live with themselves when they lie all the time. It won't happen again. I can assure you of that.
Anyway, this weekend will be nice. Shael's cousin is coming in tonight to crash with Shael for a night or two. I don't know what that means for me and Shael spending time together though. The extra free time can be put to good use. Finals are coming up and I NEED to start studying early. I can't wait until last minute.
OK, I'm going to shave my legs. Later friends.
-Alison
School really kicks my ass, which gets to me sometimes, because I know that I have it in me to do extremely well, and yet I don't put the effort into it like I should. I feel like I'm letting down my parents, and that kills me. I lost my scholarship last semester because of my gpa not meeting the requirement. I was put into a probationary period, and if I get my gpa back up this semester I will get my scholarship back. The way things arethat won't going happen
It's tough when you see the plan you had for yourself slipping away and your goals start to seem unreachable.
In that last entry I mentioned that on Tuesday I was feeling really great for a while, and that was because I had just taken a calculus test and I felt like I did really well on it. I actually studied at the library two nights in a row, and it paid off. Or at least I think it did, I'll get my test back on Monday. Getting a high grade on that test will really help me get into the swing of studying for things hopefully.
Another thing that was bothering was that I intentionally lied in order to get an extension on an assignment. Afterwards I felt like such a loser. I don't know why I did it, maybe because I knew it would work. It made me feel terrible. I don't know how people can live with themselves when they lie all the time. It won't happen again. I can assure you of that.
Anyway, this weekend will be nice. Shael's cousin is coming in tonight to crash with Shael for a night or two. I don't know what that means for me and Shael spending time together though. The extra free time can be put to good use. Finals are coming up and I NEED to start studying early. I can't wait until last minute.
OK, I'm going to shave my legs. Later friends.
-Alison
Have you thought about switching majors to something completely different (not just from forensics to chem)? Maybe you're in the wrong field? Maybe that's why you haven't been, as you wrote, putting forth the effort in your classes? Right now that is what's happening to me. I've realized that I'm not in the right program, and consequently, I don't give a good fuck about any of my classes. I'm half-assing everything this semester, even though, on those few occasions that I've actually put forth some effort, I've done well, and could continue to do well if I would just decide to consistently care. But that's the problem- I don't.
It's too late for me though. I'm only several credits away from being a senior, and I've finished most of the requirements for the major. Switching now would waste more than half of the classes I've taken... But, if I remember correctly, you're a sophomore, right? You have plenty of time to switch.
And if you do, don't think of it as "I can't reach my goals in this program, so I'm going to bail out of it". That's not what's happening. Instead, think "these weren't the goals that I was intended to finish, I'll be happier and more enthusiastic doing something else; and when I do find out what that right-thing for me is, I will be very successful doing it". I know that might sound a little cosmic, but it's very practical. Think about this: when you started college, you were 18, right? How many 18 year-olds really know what they should major in, much less know what they should to do with the rest of their lives. No one does... Or should... And if your parents put pressure on you to stay in this program if you decide that you don't want to, tell them to that it's not their life (as hard as that may be; I know my parents, even though I'm 25, can be pretty demanding).
I hope this helped. Maybe it wasn't relevant to your situation at all? If so, sorry for wasting all the space. LOL. It's just that, when an intelligent person (and you seem very bright) puts little effort into something they're doing, that lack of effort is because they'd really rather not be doing it, and not because they can't do it... Or, at least, I think so.
Hmm, I'm going to go shave my legs too... And my balls, while I'm at it.
(That was just a joke... I seem to be pissing people off lately with my comments. I don't want to do that to you.)
Is there a guy named Aaron Funk ("funk") in your class. And a girl named Randy? They are great friends of mine. Tell them hi for me if they are in your class.
Yeah, my finals strat Friday and end Wed. they are all cumulative, anf at this point, due to the dizzying breadth and encycopedic volume of material, all you can do is breath in and out, not think about it too much, and just rely on how well you learned it all during the semester. Thats it. I'll be fine. And then, on to SC. yeah baby!
damn girl, I love flavor-ice too.
Well, again, do well and please don't go nuts and psychotic about it. When all else fails and it gets cruch time, don't worry about trying to "get it all", just start to narrow it all down and focus on the things that the most important and that you know 100% will be on the exam. Hey, get point where you can right?
Well, take care babe!
adam