iriseyes

This other guy is really starting to bum me out. He's really lonely and I feel bad for him, because he's a really cool guy and definitely deserves to find someone and be happy. If I could be the one to make him happy I would, but I'm not about to leave Shael for him. It worries me though because the temptation is there. Last night he was talking about how all he wanted was to be kissed again and that he wished he could just be like all the other guys that only want ass and nothing else because it would make things easier. Maybe it's the fact that I know he isn't one of those guys that makes him so tempting. I'm really attracted to him and his personality and everything, so I'm afraid if the situation is right that I'd let something happen. And that would be a really really bad idea because like I said he isn't one of those guys that only wants ass, so to him, it would mean something. As much as I just want to kiss him sometimes, that's all I would want, something physical. I want to be the one that makes him smile again as cheesy as that sounds. If I could spend one night with him, and he would understand that it was just that one night and it made him feel better, that someone liked him, and he could go out and have the confidence to find someone else, that would be perfect. It's like I just want him to use me for the sole purposes of getting him out of the funk he's been in. But the chances of that happening without terrible consequences is very unlikely.
This whole two guys wanting me at once thing is totally new to me, and it kinda sucks, because I can't make one happy without hurting the other. In the end I know that Shael is the one I want to be with and he's my priority. He loves me more than anything, and the thought of hurting him kills me and I know that one night with Jason is not worth the risk of ruining the great relationship I'm in already. It's all so confusing!!!