irelandvixen

Hello all! I soooooo miss having my internet! I miss chatting in Psw! I miss my friends! I get so lonesome at my house alone all the time! At least when i was chatting or on the net I didnt think about being alone all the time! I never paid much attention to it! I hate feeling so alone but I cant help it! I was hanging out with a guy who was nice but my ex didnt like him made my life hell and then the guy just disappeared off the planet! I get to hang out with some friends on Tuesdays from college thats like the highlight of my week! Not this Tuesday but the TUESDAY after that is my Birthday and we are having a party for me at the place we all hang out! Im kinda excited about that cause I havent had a good birthday for about 5 years!! The last good birthday I had I was with my ex about 5 years ago that was the one thing I loved about him he always made me feel special and he loved holidays! He threw me a surprise party and surprised me with my best friend from high school that I hadnt seen in a long time! It was a great day! All the important people to me were there! Including my parents! But they live far away now so seeing them for my birthday is out of the question! Ever think about the decisions you make and you really wonder if you made the right one? What your life had been had you taken a different road? So Ive got my fingers crossed for a good birthday this year!!

I am trying to get a second job to help me get back on my feet! I really need a night job cause we will be getting more busy and I should get a lot better hours! I have to get my life back! I am trying to hard to be strong and do all this on my own! But its hard Ive always had some sort of help! I mean I was usually the person that took care of everything but I still had that support there! Now Its just me and I feel like Im not doing enough No matter how hard I try! I keep getting kicked in the face!! I keep having these weird dreams and it sucks and its always about the same thing, me being alone forever. People Physically kicking me when I am down leaving me there to bleed! It kinda unsettling! I mean i think about stuff like that all the time but Sleep is the only time I feel Happy cause all those thoughts go away but here lately they have been haunting my dreams!



anyways I am hoping that things will look up! I have to believe they will or I will go insane and they will have to lock me up in a rubber room! hahahahaaha!

OMG I LOVE THAT SONG!!!! But yea thats how I feel I didnt think it would be that easy to find but apparently it is! I loved that song as a kid what does that tell you haha! MAYBE I AM CRAZY!!! but you HAVE to watch the vid too good!!! PERFECT really!

WEll I am at work whoooot! I better get going here! I am starving so I am thinking of walking to the food court and get me some food!!! mmmmmm food lol Ive been trying to be more healthy so I ve been eatting more salads and trying not to eat so late at night! anyways! CROSS YOUR FINGERS THAT MY BIRTHDAY WILL BE A GOOD ONE! I will leave you with a pic of my birthday set I did last year! Hugs Love you guys!!!

Love-Ireland