inversechi

Another random rant with no real direction... just free flowing words which I will try and make some sense...

My emotions are slipping and changing all the time, I find language and this communication of the present and which so quickly becomes invalidated in any direction...

I am feeling alone right now... I know I have friends that care and love me as well as a supporting family but I often find myself feeling empty inside. I would say that I have felt in varied levels of depth this feeling since I first started questioning my own existence which was preteen when I used to lay in bed getting stuck in the endless loop of where would I be if I wasn't sensing reality through these precepts I have. I have drunk far to much recently with the main intention to get really trashed... why I don't know - it often leaves me feeling shit and that leads to drunken self harm or more recently since coming on here talking trash to people on this community... I try try and meet people and expand my understanding of things with their experience both good and bad with life which I really do enjoy if I am in the right frame of mind. I often find it hard to get to that level and have recently been what I would describe as stupid, enlightening and confusing with tones of sadness coming through...

Is there a place on SG to meet people which are also new to this community in the form of a chat room?

Here are some photos which I will also include in the newbies group...

I sometimes feel sad - although this photo is posed


I am sometimes happy - especially when my head and where I am is good (Photo from Warsaw Poland)


I sometimes have crazy hair - Was taken in Nottingham whilst visiting one of my best friends at university there... was really drunk and woke up semi underneath her bed and managed to whack my left eye



I spam about my life too much. sorry If anyone has read this... I would be very shocked... and probably feel random. I actually hate what I have written I know what I should do and that is sort my self out before involving anyone else... But I sometimes think I won't ever be sorted, I will always be this way... It's selfish bringing someone else into this situation... although sometimes I feel it might help having someone to help understand one another and make each other feel whole about things... I am a living mess.