interstellar.
ever sit back on your porch, deck, front yard, (or just in front of the window for those who cant afford a home...
) and realize how beautiful the world is? past the buildings, past the five hundred other apartment complexes, past the other drive ways... and really see how wonderful the world can be to us? just looking at the sky for me gets me out of this depression. the blue, yellow, orange, pink and purple. all of the colors in the deep, seemingly endless sky are simply amazing. the way the wind pushes the trees-in sway. breathtaking. the same feeling i get goes for the sea, ocean, or lake when the reflection of a closing sun is hitting it. simplify things, and forget about your busy bee day. the most unaffected things on this planet are by far the most creative. not the skyscrapers we build. though, the fact these things are built by us-making it extremely interesting to see what we can do as evolved apes-but these landmarks of bolts and steel just cant compare to that of the cosmos. you take the world for granted. i take it for granted; and it makes me ill.
another neat thing about the human body is seeing what this bag of skin and bones can and cannot withstand and endure. modifications. mods are timeless. they were a part of life when we evolved to what we are, and they'll be here when and if we evolve once more. modifications go anywhere from your piercings and tattoos, to the jock and his body building. its funny, because the body works to your liking or even lifestyles... even though im a somewhat passive person, ive been working on making my knuckles larger for the past year and a half. and believe it or not, it works. your body expects that if your punching things, then its going to react by benifiting you, giving these blows a much larger impact. i cant tell if its through scar tissue under the skin making them larger or if its the bone themselves. either way my skin is much tougher now and i can do more without breaking the skin. this might not be interesing to you, but to me its wonderful. call me simple if you will.
i cant say that much interests me enough anymore to make it a hobby; but one thing i do find to be an artform-if legal anyway-a hobby, would be murder. i myself could be a proficiant, well crafted killer. ive been given discipline, patiance, and most importantly, ive noticed ive become mostly unemotional. that is a huge flaw in the real world, especially in relationships, but whats the need of a relationship anyway? especially when your as undesired as myself . but lucky for me, im alright at acting emotional when need be. i should have become an actor. atleast then i'd be stuggling in LA or hollywood somewhere right now trying to make a name for myself. ;D unlike most teenage boys drawing pictures of death and gore, ive never been so fascinated with death itself, which to me rules out the cheese factor; though ive always found the idea of someone laid out crippled on a mattress more of an art. now give me a second to explain. in my opinion, its not so childish or passe to think this way. it sounds more like art to me. and the way i see it, these persons would deserve whats been done to them. revenge really. but then, i guess revenge takes emotion. so im more human with emotion and feeling than ive let on. hypocrite much? pshyah. oh, one more thing my father bestowed me with, r-e-s-t-r-a-i-n-t. which keeps me from ever pointing a knife at you and thrusting. so, maybe im not such a bad person, eh?
i believe that 50's and 60's music should be revived. whats not to love about the motown sound? as everyone else, the temptations were great to me. they kind of lost me once the 70's hit though. off topic; but ever compare your life to that of a movie? one of my favorite movies is stand by me, has been since i was young, and i loved the idea of the group of boys being so realistically close. my friends and i all lived the same way, except instead of it being the 50's, it was the early mid nineties. i was like gordy, jesse being like river's character chris, and the others as they were... every male group of friends growing up had a treehouse. every group had father problems, had adventures miles from home, and every group had the friend they picked on. but even still, every friend was there for one another in a way that you'd never again see in your life. the quote at the end of the movie was something like, "i never had friends like the ones i had growing up with when i was thirteen... did anyone?" and thats so true. never will i be as close to anyone as i was to those guys. its sad that you grow up and go seperate ways; but thats life i guess.
ever sit back on your porch, deck, front yard, (or just in front of the window for those who cant afford a home...
) and realize how beautiful the world is? past the buildings, past the five hundred other apartment complexes, past the other drive ways... and really see how wonderful the world can be to us? just looking at the sky for me gets me out of this depression. the blue, yellow, orange, pink and purple. all of the colors in the deep, seemingly endless sky are simply amazing. the way the wind pushes the trees-in sway. breathtaking. the same feeling i get goes for the sea, ocean, or lake when the reflection of a closing sun is hitting it. simplify things, and forget about your busy bee day. the most unaffected things on this planet are by far the most creative. not the skyscrapers we build. though, the fact these things are built by us-making it extremely interesting to see what we can do as evolved apes-but these landmarks of bolts and steel just cant compare to that of the cosmos. you take the world for granted. i take it for granted; and it makes me ill.
another neat thing about the human body is seeing what this bag of skin and bones can and cannot withstand and endure. modifications. mods are timeless. they were a part of life when we evolved to what we are, and they'll be here when and if we evolve once more. modifications go anywhere from your piercings and tattoos, to the jock and his body building. its funny, because the body works to your liking or even lifestyles... even though im a somewhat passive person, ive been working on making my knuckles larger for the past year and a half. and believe it or not, it works. your body expects that if your punching things, then its going to react by benifiting you, giving these blows a much larger impact. i cant tell if its through scar tissue under the skin making them larger or if its the bone themselves. either way my skin is much tougher now and i can do more without breaking the skin. this might not be interesing to you, but to me its wonderful. call me simple if you will.
i cant say that much interests me enough anymore to make it a hobby; but one thing i do find to be an artform-if legal anyway-a hobby, would be murder. i myself could be a proficiant, well crafted killer. ive been given discipline, patiance, and most importantly, ive noticed ive become mostly unemotional. that is a huge flaw in the real world, especially in relationships, but whats the need of a relationship anyway? especially when your as undesired as myself .
but lucky for me, im alright at acting emotional when need be. i should have become an actor. atleast then i'd be stuggling in LA or hollywood somewhere right now trying to make a name for myself. ;D unlike most teenage boys drawing pictures of death and gore, ive never been so fascinated with death itself, which to me rules out the cheese factor; though ive always found the idea of someone laid out crippled on a mattress more of an art. now give me a second to explain. in my opinion, its not so childish or passe to think this way. it sounds more like art to me. and the way i see it, these persons would deserve whats been done to them. revenge really. but then, i guess revenge takes emotion. so im more human with emotion and feeling than ive let on. hypocrite much? pshyah. oh, one more thing my father bestowed me with, r-e-s-t-r-a-i-n-t. which keeps me from ever pointing a knife at you and thrusting. so, maybe im not such a bad person, eh?
i believe that 50's and 60's music should be revived. whats not to love about the motown sound? as everyone else, the temptations were great to me. they kind of lost me once the 70's hit though. off topic; but ever compare your life to that of a movie? one of my favorite movies is stand by me, has been since i was young, and i loved the idea of the group of boys being so realistically close. my friends and i all lived the same way, except instead of it being the 50's, it was the early mid nineties. i was like gordy, jesse being like river's character chris, and the others as they were... every male group of friends growing up had a treehouse. every group had father problems, had adventures miles from home, and every group had the friend they picked on. but even still, every friend was there for one another in a way that you'd never again see in your life. the quote at the end of the movie was something like, "i never had friends like the ones i had growing up with when i was thirteen... did anyone?" and thats so true. never will i be as close to anyone as i was to those guys. its sad that you grow up and go seperate ways; but thats life i guess.
fatality:
Well that is CERTAINLY a very interesting journal entry. I'm interested in what you'll have to say in the future.